Parenting

Mums with two babies share the vital lessons they wish they had known before their first


No crying baby is a match for a seasoned mother (Picture: Getty)

Having a baby is scary.

It’s a new world, filled with worries, fears and fleeting moments.

First-time mums need all the help they can get. From sleep cycles to feeding times, there is a colossal amount of baby information to process.

However, when a second bundle of joy comes around, these new mums turn into masters of the game.

No crying baby is a match for a seasoned mother.

They know the tricks of the trade and apply previous experience to the present.

As this information is so vital, we asked a selection of wondrous second-time mums to share their gold nuggets of information.

Those little tidbits of wisdom that saved them time, hassle and tears as their family grew.

So, if you are a soon-to-be mum, or are currently knee deep in nappies with a screaming baby in one hand, read on.

But also keep in mind that you should do whatever you think is best for you and your baby. The advice below is based on the experiences of other mums, but everyone is different – you will find a way that works for you.

Help and expectations

‘Have no expectations. When I had my first baby I had so many expectations of how I was meant to be, who I was meant to be and how my baby was meant to be. I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, yet in the real world there is no perfect.

‘I found the best way is to have no expectations of myself at all, and just allow myself to go with the flow.

‘Ask for help. When I had my first baby I had this internal perception that because I was mummy I had to do everything. Look after my baby, clean the home, feed us all, and also I ran a business at the same time.

‘I put so much pressure on myself and then became poorly mentally because I wasn’t able to live up to this. The truth is, it’s a 50/50 game if you have a partner and we should ask for help as much as we can.’ – Rebecca Lockwood, mum of two

Baby grows

‘l only realised with my second baby that the reason baby grows have openings at the shoulders is so you can pull it downwards if the mess is at the head-end. Very handy for vomiting! I had been pulling it upwards, trying not to get the mess over my first baby’s face!’ Emma, mum of three

‘I learnt so much from having my first that I had a completely different experience when my second baby arrived. Things like: you don’t need 20 baby grows for a newborn because they grow out of them in five minutes.

‘Also, I didn’t need to bathe the baby at the same time every night. I learned to relax a bit more about timings. Oh, and I also learned not to wake a sleeping baby. It doesn’t work for everyone but I figured if the baby is tired, let them sleep.’ – Karen, mum of two

Milk issues

‘I expressed milk like a mad woman in between feeds with my first baby for fear I would run out of milk and he would be hungry. Needless to say, I stock-piled a freezer load of expressed milk which then went to the local neonatal unit.

‘I was more relaxed with my second and he never went hungry.’ Tracey, mum of three

Sleepless nights

‘Let the baby cry just a little so they learn to self soothe to sleep. I let my second one cry for a few minutes at a time and by the time he was aged three months, he was sleeping through the night. With my first child, I rushed in every time he so much as coughed, picked him up and then inadvertently ruined his sleep cycle.

‘Get them on a bottle early. I breast fed exclusively with my first child and when it came to bottle feeding at around six months of age, he simply refused. So, I ended up breastfeeding for a year!

‘With my second child, I expressed my milk and did bottle and breast feeding for a few months so he was ready for formula milk and bottle early on – freeing me up!’ Louisa Peacock, mum of two boys

The physical effects of birth

‘When you sneeze, you’ll always forever end up crossing your legs to stop you weeing. You won’t want anyone to touch you for about six weeks after birth but it could be longer.

‘Your boobs will really hurt for weeks after birth. Nipples will become sore and cracked and sometimes bleed while breast feeding. You will hate your body for a longtime because it’s not bouncing back. It will take time for you to love your body for what it’s just gone through.’ Gemma Nice, mum of two

Think about your partner

‘You will have to really work on your relationship, as children change the dynamics. You will have unconditional love for this baby you’ve birthed.’ Gemma Nice

Think about yourself

‘You will need so much stuff when you leave the house. You will always drink cold tea or coffee, don’t expect it to be hot. You will need endless amounts of snacks.

‘You have to compromise. Have a set routine from day one, babies and children thrive on routine. Don’t worry about how the house looks at any time, the main thing is for you to cope with the baby.

‘And it’s okay not to be okay, you are a mum and mums lose their s**t a lot.’ Gemma Nice

Do you have a story to share?

Send us an email at metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk


MORE : How to emotionally prepare your children for the routine of school


MORE : Mum has four babies in three years after delivering two sets of twins


MORE : Mum had to return adopted daughter after birth parents changed their minds





READ SOURCE

Leave a Reply

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you accept our use of cookies.