TEENAGERS are more likely to do their homework and tidy their room if asked in a soft and supportive way, a study suggests.
Researchers say pushy mums who bark orders get their child’s back up, provoke negative emotions and drive a wedge between them.
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They are more likely to cooperate when addressed with a sense of encouragement – even if the words used are exactly the same.
Allowing teens to make a choice and express themselves freely prompts the best results.
The findings should help parents and teachers manage their children and pupils more effectively, Cardiff University boffins say.
They examined how 1,000 kids aged 14 and 15 responded to instructions from a woman when delivered in different tones.
Teens are more likely to cooperate when addressed with a sense of encouragement – even if the words used are exactly the same.
The 30 messages included “it’s time now to go to school”, “you will read this book tonight” and “you will do well on this assignment”.
The students were quizzed after each instruction on how they would feel and respond if their mum had spoken to them that way.
Those delivered in a “supportive” way were rated highest and those conveyed in “controlling” manner fared worst.
Dr Netta Weinstein said: “If parents want conversations with their teens to have the most benefit, it’s important to remember to use supportive tones of voice.
How to control your teenager’s technology use
- No child should possess their own technology before the age of seven. They can use the family technology but as it doesn’t belong to them, they will not have the same right of entitlement that can justify a tantrum.
- Be very clear about how long a child is allowed to use a device for. If the child is under seven, it should be no longer than half an hour at any given time. After the technology use, do something active.
- Between seven and 11, children need to learn to manage access to technology so that by the time they go to secondary school, they can handle having a phone, which most parents want their child to have as a point of contact. Between 11 and 15, you should have access to all of their online accounts – but treat them with respect.
“It’s easy for parents to forget, especially if they are feeling stressed, tired, or pressured themselves.
“Adolescents likely feel more cared about and happier, and as a result they try harder at school, when parents and teachers speak in supportive rather than pressuring tones of voice.”
Prof Silke Paulmann, who worked on the study at the University of Essex, added: “These results nicely illustrate how powerful our voice is and that choosing the right tone to communicate is crucial in all of our conversations.”
The researchers will now investigate how tone of voice affects heart rates, sweating and other physical responses.
The findings are published in the journal Developmental Psychology.
Yesterday, we told you how a teen has been reunited with her missing stuffed animal 14 years after she lost it.
We also revealed how a Christmas-mad mum has been roasted for putting her decorations up in September.
