Parenting

Mum-to-be’s ‘trauma’ at getting dead boyfriend named as father


Kirsty Gravett had to fight to get partner Chris Vickery’s name on their child’s birth certificate after he died during the pregnancy (Picture: SWNS)

A woman whose partner died suddenly while she was pregnant has spoken about the ‘traumatic experience’ of getting his name on their child’s birth certificate.

Kirsty Gravett, 32, finally secured a court order on Monday to prove Chris Vickery’s paternity after he died from a heart attack in 2017.

But she faced trouble because the current law states unmarried parents need to register the birth together.

After her stress, Kirsty has launched an online petition calling on the government to make the process easier.

The couple, who had been together for 11 years, already had two sons Charlie, nine, and Harry, six.

Kirsty Gravett, 32, and Chris Vickery, who was 38 when he died following a heart attack (Picture: SWNS)

Kirsty, a community nurse, was nine weeks pregnant with their third child Oliver when her partner died aged 38.

Kirsty, from north Devon, said: ‘There was an empty space on Oliver’s birth certificate where his father’s details were supposed to be, why should my son grow up not having his father’s name on his birth certificate?’

‘He still has a dad, just because he’s not with us any more.

‘That should be reflected legally.’

Kirsty said her partner was ‘fit and well’ and his death ‘happened in seconds overnight’.

She added: ‘I had to deal with my own grief at the same time as dealing with the children’s grief while also dealing with being pregnant.

‘Then as the children grow up and hit milestones I think that he should be here, it’s a constant reminder of his absence.’

She had to present a ‘hefty’ witness statement in court before the judge eventually approved the change on her son’s birth certificate.

Chris and Kirsty’s son Oliver Vickery after his birth (Picture: SWNS)

She said she was hopeful her petition would ‘shake things up a little bit’.

Describing her experience in court, she said: ‘I was an absolute nervous wreck, it was very intimidating.

‘The emotional trauma it adds to an already traumatic experience – I just think something more could be done.’

She added: ‘The law is quite archaic and that needs to change.

Kirsty Gravett, 32, and her three children, Charlie Vickery, 9 (left), Harry Vickery, 6 (rear left), and Oliver Vickery, 18-months (rear right). (Picture: Kirsty Gravett /SWNS)

‘I want the process to be easier.

‘I was just fighting for Chris’ rights but I was made to feel like I was a criminal.

‘It adds stress to what is already a horrific situation.’

Walthamstow MP Stella Creasy has been campaigning on the issue since 2015, arguing it was ‘vital the law of the land reflects the society and times we live in’.

A Home Office spokesperson said it relied on a court to make a declaration of parentage.





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