A mum has started a thought-provoking debate on Twitter about whether men should be allowed to stay in maternity wards for the same time as the new mum and baby.
Writer Annie Ridout, from London, explained that her local hospital doesn’t allow dads to stay in postnatal wards after their baby is born.
The author wrote: ‘I think this is outrageous – unfair on the mother; unfair on the father, who’s being made to feel unimportant. He needs to bond too.’
Since she posted the comment, people on Twitter have been debating whether it’s a good or bad idea.
One mum could see both sides. She replied to the tweet saying: ‘So tricky. I remember my husband and I were both crying when he had to leave a few hours after I had my first.
‘Absolutely the time we needed each other most. But I do see the predicament.’
Other mums said their partners were allowed to stay. One wrote: ‘That is insane!! I am in Leicester and my partner was able to stay as long as he wanted. You need support after giving birth.’
it’s a really contentious issue – the arguments against it are a) too many people on a ward makes life harder and b) it’s a very vulnerable time and for a woman sleeping on a ward to be sharing space with a man is a big ask.
— Rebecca Reid (@RebeccaCNReid) April 29, 2019
The post received hundreds of comments from mums and dads weighing in.
A dad said he thought it should work on a case by case basis.
He posted: ‘It needs to be dealt with on an individual basis and was managed well when my son was born.
‘Parental inclusion is important, but so is rest for mum and baby, plus the safety of other people on the ward.’
Some people commenting on the tweet said that in private rooms, partners and/or family members were allowed to stay with the mother.
But, of course, those on a lower income may not be able to afford private care.
Annie said: ‘Private rooms sound so nice to me! But then it becomes exclusive to those who can afford this.’
Most were concerned that it would lead to overcrowding.
One mum added: ‘With both my babies I was in postnatal ward rooms with 6/7 other mums – if partners had been in overnight it would have been overcrowded, noisy, and completely lacking in privacy.’
‘What would be ideal is more midwife support through the night.’
Others retold bad experiences they had in the maternity ward: ‘It sounds like a good thing, but after I had someone’s threatening partner staying next to me whilst bed-bound, I changed my mind.
‘You want your own partner there, but I really didn’t want anyone else’s.’
Also, where would you draw the line. A single mother may not have that support but wants their best friend to stay as support. Plus hospitals are very different to midwife led units where partners are able to stay. Hospitals are just that, a hospital.
— Alice Miller (@alice_f_miller) April 29, 2019
One person made a controversial claim that maternity wards should be male-free. They wrote: ‘I believe labour wards should be man-free because of the deeply female personal stuff going on, as well as to protect vulnerable women.
‘Women don’t want strange men about when recovering, as vaginas might need inspecting, etc (curtains no help). And secondly, abuse rates are very high after birth,’ she continued.
‘This rule prevents women from being raped/sexually abused by their partners after birth. Sad but true.’
At the moment, hospitals operate on an ad-hoc basis when it comes to dads and visitors so you should check visiting hours.
Some hospitals allow the birthing partners to stay overnight
The Royal Free Hospital, for example, says: ‘Partners or a chosen companion can stay overnight at the Royal Free Hospital on with mothers and babies.
‘We recognise that this aids with family bonding and can reduce anxiety and stress among mothers. The decision to stay overnight is entirely up to you, though staff may decide it’s not possible under certain circumstances.
‘Due to limited space, we cannot offer a bed, linen or showers. You can use the chair by the bed to rest and you will need to bring your own blanket or pillow.’
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