If you thought the orgasm gap was a thing of the past, we are sadly here to tell you that this is not the case.
A new study from the sex toy company Lelo has revealed that men are still climaxing more often than women during sex, 66% compared to 43% respectively.
What’s more, almost one in 20 women have never orgasmed with a sexual partner.
The findings, which have been released for National Orgasm Day (that’s today) are the result of a survey with 4,000 heterosexual female and male participants from across the UK.
To make matters worse, not only do women climax less, but it appears many of their male partners are unaware that this is even happening, with majority of participants in relationships saying their partner orgasms 60% of the time.
This is still quite a low figure – but this could partially be due to some women not being physically able to climate during sex, rather than lack of trying by their partner.
More likely however, this is due to the orgasm gap.
What is the orgasm gap?
‘The orgasm gap refers to the stats that show that in heterosexual sexual experiences men orgasm more than women,’ explains Kate Moyle, sex and relationships expert at Lelo.
‘We also see that this gap doesn’t exist when women are having sexual experiences with women, which suggests that the gap is gendered.’
Kate explains that this is due to a variety of factors, such as lack of education, cultural differences and the fact that many people focus on intercourse to reach climax, where majority of women require clitoral stimulation to get off.
But why is the clitoris so often forgotten or ignored?
‘This is reinforced by what we see represented in many forms of sex online and in the media, where women appear to be orgasming from penetrative sex with little or no arousal,’ she says.
‘Commonly we also split up foreplay and sex, which puts the focus on “sex” as the main event, when if we reframe and think of it all as sex where the goal is pleasure then the clitoris, which is the main source of female pleasure with 8000 nerve endings would get more attention.
‘It’s not all about taking the focus off penetration, but ensuring that people are aware then when women are aroused, the clitoris becomes erect like the penis, and this means the internal structure can be stimulated and can create pleasurable sensations through intercourses, but arousal and being turned on is the key.’
‘The side effect of this lack of sex education is few of us feel confident with sexual communication, and being open about what feels good for us, and this is one of the key routes to creating change.’
Additional research by Lelo revealed three in 10 people fake their orgasms on a regular basis, with women more likely to do so, according to the study.
And only a third of those surveyed have spoken to their partner about their orgasms, or rather lack of orgasms – with men (73%) more likely to raise the issue, compared to women (56%).
If you’re missing out on orgasms, it’s time to speak up.
To help you on your way, we have created a guide on how to talk to your sexual partner about what you want in bed.
Go forth and climax.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
MORE: Life in lockdown has made us more open to virtual dating and long distance relationships
MORE: How to cope with lockdown dating anxiety
MORE: 11 sex games to play when you’re bored of lockdown
