Lifestyle

Man slammed for 'begging' wife to have sex four weeks after 'traumatic birth'


US reality television stars Tanner and Jade Tolbert met on season two of the Bachelor in Paradise, fell in love and tied the knot in 2016.

The pair welcomed a daughter named Emmy in 2017 and one month ago their second child, a son called Brooks, was born in the couple’s walk-in-wardrobe after Jade unexpectedly went into labour.

Jade gave birth in just 75 minutes and says she’s “slowly” been recovering physically, mentally and emotionally from the traumatic incident.

Despite this, her husband has been busy discussing how he doesn’t feel like they’ve had enough sex since having kids and admits he’s “begged” her for it.

The birth was pretty traumatic and unexpected

 

Appearing on the podcast, The Viall Files, Tanner acknowledged that while Jade should be “focused on the kids” right now, he feels like he’s been put on “the back burner”.

Speaking to host Nick Viall, he explained how their sex life had completely changed since having children.

He said: “It took a dive (when Jade started nursing Emmy) and then pretty much right after the breastfeeding stopped, we got pregnant again with Brooks.

“And now he’s here and we have two kids. It is tough. I feel like I’ve begged for it. And I don’t want to feel selfish – I hate asking, I hate trying, because I don’t want it to be pity sex and I realise that her priorities should be on the kids and not me but I do feel like I’m on the back burner.”

 

Unsurprisingly his comments provoked a strong reaction from listeners, with many slamming the guy on Twitter for not giving his wife enough time to heal.

One said: “Whoa my doctor didn’t even clear me for sex eight to 10 weeks after baby. Her body is still healing and she’s been though physical and emotional trauma. Give her some time and support.”

Another commented:”Yo Tanner, your wife just had a baby in her closet. No meds and you’re mad about waiting to have sex until she’s completely healed?! Man that’s insane!”

A third wrote: “Just an FYI that sex is on the back burner longer than four weeks after a traumatic birth (in the master closet counts).. how about cleaning the house, making a meal and getting some laundry done for your partnership in raising children with Jade?”

 

According to a doctor, it’s advisable to wait between four and six weeks to resume having sex after giving birth – but possibly longer if a woman has suffered tears, is uncomfortable or is breastfeeding.

Speaking to bodyandsoul.com Dr Deborah Bateson the Medical Director at Family Planning NSW, said that doctors generally recommend waiting “between four and six weeks to resume penetrative sex, but that’s with lots of considerations and depends what kind of delivery the mother had.”

She continues: “The most important thing is that the woman is setting her own timeline. Some woman take weeks, some take months and some take even longer.”

In a post on Instagram , Jade described giving birth to her son as “one of the scariest moments of her life”.

She wrote: “I accidentally gave birth at home last night, in our master closet. I’ve been still processing the shock of this all, as this was not at all what I had planned..

“It was one of the scariest moments of my life because I felt so out of control, but Tanner, Tanner’s mom, my mom and the medics and firefighters kept me going when I felt like the world was caving in on me and my unborn baby.”

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