A man has sparked an outpouring of praise for his mother after revealing that she taught him and his brothers how to be good partners and “decent men” through “husband-in-training” courses.
Doug Weaver, who goes by the username @dougweaverart on TikTok, opened up about his mother’s training in a video shared to the app this month, in which he explained that the “multiple-year curriculum” covered everything from “eating etiquette” to chivalry and the “ethics of the porn industry”.
“So when I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called husbands-in-training, that’s what she called it,” Weaver began the video, adding that the training consisted of a “full, multiple-year curriculum on how to be a better husband”.
According to Weaver, his mother’s teachings were so in-depth that they went as far as to include quizzes, with the TikToker recalling taking a quiz on the ethics of the porn industry, which he admitted was “too much”.
The curriculum also included lessons about interacting with one’s partner, according to Weaver, who recalled learning “what to do if your spouse says something and the information they give is wrong,” and how to handle the situation if it happens in public or private, as well as when it is “appropriate to correct them and when it isn’t”.
“We talked about consent, we talked about the basics of respecting and honouring women, and listening to women, and all of the things that really just make you a decent human being,” Weaver recalled.
According to Weaver, when he was in high school, his father decided to join in on his wife’s lessons after he realised that some of what she was teaching were things he’d never learned or didn’t know himself. “So myself, my brothers and my dad were all learning how to be better men from my mom, through this husbands-in-training course,” the TikToker said.
In the video, Weaver then recalled how his mother had signed and given each of her sons a certificate of completion on their wedding days.
While reflecting on his mother’s training, Weaver joked that there are some parts of the curriculum that should “never see the light of day,” such as the porn quiz, before noting that there are many lessons, such as ones on consent, that he plans to teach his own son.
“I’m definitely raising my son to understand how consent works and that the necessity for consent doesn’t end when you get married, that things still need to be consensual,” Weaver said, adding that he will also teach his son to identify when women are in “distress or in danger because of other men,” and “when to intervene and how to appropriately intervene”.
Weaver said he also plans to teach his son his mother’s teachings about conflict resolution and how to express feelings in a healthy way, as well as “appropriate ways to respond when someone expresses their feelings to you”.
“Because I’ve got to say, my brothers and I, we’re all married and I think all three of our wives really appreciate the hard work that my mom did trying to raise some decent men,” Weaver concluded.
Since sharing the video, which has been viewed more than 4.6m times, Weaver has received an outpouring of praise for his mother, who viewers have described as a “legend”.
“How do I like this 5,000 times,” one person wrote, while another said: “Is your mother a goddess?”
Others applauded Weaver’s father as well, with someone else writing: “Your parents are heroes!!! The fact that she did this is amazing, and the fact that your dad volunteered to do it makes me want to hug him.”
The video also prompted many requests for Weaver to make the curriculum into a TikTok series, while others encouraged him to create a book from his mother’s lessons.
“Write the book,” one person wrote, while someone else asked: “Can I get a copy of her curriculum?”
Another person urged Weaver to “please publish this!!!” adding: “As a mom of three boys, we NEED this.”
In a comment shared under the video, Weaver said that he had talked to his mother about the possibility of creating a video series about her lessons. “Fingers crossed,” he wrote.
In a follow-up video, Weaver said that his mother had been overwhelmed by all of the attention, but had agreed to create a video series if it could help others. The TikToker has since set up a GoFundMe to help raise money for proper equipment for the series. As of Friday, the GoFundMe has raised more than $8,500, far surpassing its goal of $340.
While reflecting on his mother’s teachings with BuzzFeed, Weaver said that the idea developed over time, but started with her “jokingly calling us her ‘little husbands in training’”.
As for what the curriculum entailed, Weaver said that his mom would begin by having conversations with her sons, but also had them watch videos about certain topics, and gave them the “occasional worksheets and quizzes”.
Weaver also revealed that his mother expected her sons to incorporate their lessons into their daily lives, adding: “She wanted us to know how to be in a healthy long-term relationship, and in the meantime we could practice by treating every woman we meet with respect, starting with her. We weren’t only expected to learn it, we had to show her that we knew it.”
The Independent has contacted Weaver for comment.
