On the last night of the experiment, the participants finally got the chance to ask their significant others some burning questions.
Oh wait, this is Married At First Sight… let’s try that again.
On Wednesday, the participants finally got the chance to ask their significant others John Aiken’s most burning questions!
‘Heeere’s Johnny!’ Move over, Michael Goonan. John Aiken is the new pot stirrer in chief
(Thumbs Down)
It’s becoming increasingly clear that relationship ‘expert’ John Aiken decided to become a psychologist after watching the Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of everything he knows to be right and logical, just to see how it feels.
‘This time last year, we had too many strong couples and not enough drama,’ he announced.
‘So for the first time ever, we’re forcing you to watch each other’s “private and confidential” audition tapes.’
‘LOL. That should f**k things up nice and good!’ he later wrote in the MAFS experts’ group chat.
‘I smell a raise *thumbs up*,’ replied Pheromone fanatic Dr. Trisha Stratford.
Tale of the tape: Before dinner party question time, John had another crazy idea. ‘There hasn’t been enough drama this year… let’s show them each other’s “confidential” audition tapes!’
‘LOL. Trish still does not understand emojis,’ wrote Mel Schilling in a separate group chat titled Dishin on Trish.
Naturally, the audition tape segment was an egregious stitch up,designed to prevent another ‘true love’ ratings sinkhole like Cam and Jules from last season.
It sure as hell worked on Mishel and Steve, whose snail pace romance ran out of slime after his audition tape showed him asking for ‘a woman in her thirties’.
Face says it all: Naturally, the audition tape segment was an egregious stitch up. Steve’s tape showed him admitting he ‘only dates women in their thirties’
‘The last woman I went on a date with was 49!’ he said on the tape.
‘Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it a date – I sat down, looked at her, said “Oh dear, I’ve just s**t my pants” and then ran.’
Naturally Mishel was hot flushing all over the place.
‘But I’m 48!’ she screamed.
‘Oh really?’ Steve replied. ‘I didn’t realise!’
The rest of the cast didn’t fare much better.
Just one problem! Naturally Mishel was hot flushing all over the place. ‘But I’m 48!’ Mishel screamed. ‘Oh really?’ Steve replied, ‘I didn’t realise!’
Burning Down The House
Not John again! Before the final dinner party had the chance to kick off, John Aiken came strolling in with a cheeky grin
Before the final dinner party had the chance to kick off, John Aiken came strolling in with a cheeky grin.
‘I know what you’re thinking… I’ve farted in the observation booth and I’ve been kicked out.
‘Well, that may be true – but I’m out here because I wanted to give you all the chance to ask your spouse the most burning questions you have.’
‘But seeing as though I’m the one who cops it if the ratings are down, I’ve written all the questions for you!’
Kicked out! ‘Well, that may be true – but I’m out here because I wanted to give you all the chance to ask your spouse your most burning questions. ‘ he said. ‘I wrote them myself!’
Liz and Seb
Seb: Are you falling in love with me? Liz: Would you believe “yes”?
Seb: ‘Are you falling in love with me?’
Liz: ‘Would you believe “yes”?’
Seb: ‘No.’
Liz: ‘Then no.’
Seb: No. Liz: Then no
Drew and KC
Will KC travel for Drew? This relationship has been going nowhere fast, so it was surprising to hear KC commit to flying interstate every weekend to be with Drew
This relationship has been going nowhere fast, so it was surprising to hear KC commit to flying interstate every weekend to be with Drew.
‘As long as there’s sparking La Croix in the fridge and a UV tooth light in the bathroom, I’ll be there!’ she said.
We soon found that Drew was only okay with this because he’s a travelling (read: failed) musician who works on the weekends.
‘I just need a babysitter for Cornelius,’ he admitted.
We soon found that Drew was only okay with this because he’s a travelling (see: failed) musician who works on the weekends. ‘I just need a babysitter for Cornellius,’ he admitted
Stacey and Michael
Michael asked Stacey: Do you only love me for my money? She didn’t reply
Michael: ‘Do you only love me for my money?’
Stacey: ‘…’
Michael: ‘HELLO!? STACEY? You’ve had too much surgery to remain this still, it’s very confusing for me.’
Stacey: ‘Sorry! I heard the word “money” and got some slight daydream amnesia. Who are all these idiots?’
STACEY!? Stacey: Sorry! I heard the word ‘money’ and got some slight daydream amnesia. Who are all these idiots?
Connie and Jonnie
NOBODY CARES
Mishel and Steve
Main event: In the main event, Mishel confronted Steve about his lack of intimacy, spurring the group to chant ‘Pash, pash, pash!’ at them
Steve: ‘Mishel, how does our lack of intimacy make you feel?’
Mishel: ‘Like I’m 28 years too late.’
Everyone else: ‘Come on. you two! Just have a pash, have one right now!’
Mishel’s eyes lit up as she leaned in for a kiss six weeks in the making.
Steve: ‘Look, I’m not ready to do that yet. But honestly, dating an older woman is definitely a direction I’ll go in the future.’
Everyone else:’ IN THE FUTURE? So Mishel’s dumped then?’
Steve: ‘Oh dear, I’ve just s**t my pants.’
Whoops! ‘Look, I’m not ready to do that yet. But honestly, dating an older woman is definitely a direction I’ll go in the future,’ he said. ‘FUTURE?’ Everyone asked. Nice one Steve, you just dumped Mishel!
