“I CAN’T stand him,” growled no-nonsense Irish lass Maura Higgins as Love Island’s latest mortifying man-child Jordan Hames walked into yet another catastrophic dating failure.
It’s hard to argue with her.
This year’s ITV2 series has done millennial blokes no favours.
With a couple of exceptions, they have shown themselves up as fakes of the Tinder generation.
Largely untrustworthy, self-obsessed and certainly unable to provide their girlfriends even the slightest hint of reassurance they have the ability to stay faithful for more than five minutes.
Perhaps we can’t blame them any more. After all, we live in a culture where finding another lady for these young men is as simple as swiping right on their phone.
Just take firefighter Michael Griffiths, whose bulging biceps, tattoos, nose ring and instant attention from the opposite sex have given him the impression that any woman would be crazy not to be with him at any cost.
Amber Gill had been there with those types of guys before and, to begin with, she was the definition of wary.
But after his 24/7 reassurances, she eventually relented and gave him her heart, only for Michael to turn his back after five minutes when they were separated in different villas.
His new woman Joanna Chimonides wrongly believed he was committed to her.
But the moment she started speaking about having a happy future and, God forbid, eventually starting a family, he lost interest.
When crafty producers conspired to evict her, Michael refused to leave with her.
But when she branded him a “snake”, he promised her he would stay faithful.
Within 48 hours, he was cracking on again with Amber who, in a move that has my eternal respect, refused to go there.
Then there’s the aforementioned Jordan. He really seemed to be starting something special with the
British Kardashian Anna Vakili, who he had asked to be his girlfriend.
So suckered by the farce, I even went on the Lorraine show on Monday and declared it was true love and this pair should win the show.
At the same time, he was in the villa dissing Anna in order to try it on with former Page 3 girl India Reynolds, put off by the fact the coupling he was in had proved unpopular with the public.
That’s the same move pulled by the charming Curtis Pritchard, who broke the heart of Amy Hart after learning the public didn’t think their relationship was genuine.
Now I’m far from naive when it comes to reality TV and have said for years that anyone is deluded if they think these fame-hungry contestants go on Love Island to find real love.
But at least in the past couple of series, with the likes of Kem Cetinay and Amber Davies or Jack Fincham and Dani Dyer, they were prepared to give a real relationship a go once they were in it.
Even if both were doomed the moment they left the clutch of host Caroline Flack. Now the issue here is casting.
For the next series, which will actually take place in just six months in South Africa in a second annual winter edition, producers need to find guys who care less about going to the gym and more about having a mature conversation.
Love Island is a glossy TV phenomenon – millions of us are addicted each night to the hijinks, the tasks, the saucy talk and, yes, the love stories.
And I’m not going to fault that for one second, now more than ever we all need some joy in our lives.
But if the men on this year’s Love Island series are indicative of the wider population, then I fear dating in real life for Generation Z will be anything but glossy.
Judges are perfect panel
FILMING on the hottest day of the year only made the Britain’s Got Talent judges even more outrageous.
I was backstage with the best talent show judging panel there’s ever been – Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden, Alesha Dixon and David Walliams – on Thursday as they started work on a special Champions edition of the format that will start screening next month.
It will be a highlight of ITV’s autumn weekend line-up, bringing back the best acts from BGT such as Collabro and Paul Potts to compete against their international rivals.
I love that ITV has decided to start giving their viewers exactly what they want, with bosses also announcing that Love Island will now run twice a year, too.
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