The Scots actor has filmed himself as Cockney alter ego DS Arnot from the hit BBC detective drama to give a rallying call to the England team managed by Wayne Rooney ahead of the game.
But then Greenock-born drops the English accent to have a tongue-in-cheek dig at the English team, while giving his support to the Rest of the World XI ahead of the fundraiser at Old Trafford.
The game is being broadcast live on ITV1 and this year every £1 donated by the public is being automatically trebled thanks to the UK Government and Gavi, The Vaccine Alliance each agreeing to match donations to SoccerAid for Unicef – up to £3 million – until October 6, 2020.
Former Morton footballer Compton, 36, has been a regular star in the annual Soccer Aid fundraiser but is missing this year’s game because he’s filming the sixth series of Line of Duty.
In a side-splitting video posted on Twitter, Compston says in an English accent: “Hello, DS Arnott here. I just want to say a massive good luck to Big Sam and all the Lions and Lionesses.
“Soccer Aid is such an incredible event and we’ve had some of the greatest athletes this country has ever seen.
“Sir Mo Farah. This year we’ve got Wayne Rooney and Tom Davis. I know we lost last time, but everyone’s been inspired by the Cricket World Cup. That’s a day I’ll never forget. It was the best of being English. So come on England! It’s coming home.”
But the proud Scot then ditches his DS Arnott act to throw give his true backing to England’s rivals – a Rest of the World team managed by Harry Redknapp and featuring former Scotland captain and Man Utd ace Darren Fletcher, Scotland women’s team legend Julie Fleeting and Love Island funnyman Iain Stirling.
The cheeky Scot says: “Hiya, Martin Compston here. I’m absolutely gutted I’m not at Soccer Aid there to watch the Rest of World retain our trophy.
“So best of luck to Harry, all the lads and ladies. I’ve got every faith that you’ll get right in about these dafties.
“The only sport they’re any good at is cricket, a sport where they're scared of rain and there’s actual f*****g tea breaks. Tells you everything you need to know.”
The UK Government and Gavi, the Vaccine Alliance, are trebling every £1 donated into £3 and UNICEF will use this money to fund this year a huge solar-powered water network in Malawi providing safe, clean water to thousands of families.
This year’s Soccer Aid is to fund a Water, Sanitation and Hygiene (WASH) project helping communities on the two most densely populated districts of Malawi – Blantyre in the Southern Region, and the Lilongwe District in the Central Region. Each of these areas is home to over 3.8 million children.
Malawi has one of the lowest rates for water and sanitation access in Sub-Saharan Africa. Incidences of water-borne diseases are also high, particularly among children. A cholera outbreak in Lilongwe in 2018 affected 400 people, with 18 deaths.
In peri-urban and rural areas, only 56 percent of people have access to safe drinking water, and nearly 20 percent of the population practices open defecation.
Unicef Malawi introduced solar powered water networks in the country as part of school WASH programmes, as well as the recovery package in response to the flooding and destruction caused by Cyclone Idai.
This scalable technology is highly cost-effective, working with solar power to source groundwater from deep wells to ensure an uninterrupted supply.
Unicef’s work in Malawi has led to improved access to safe water and sanitation for over three million people between 2014 and 2018.
* Soccer Aid is on STV on Sunday at 6.30pm. You can donate here.