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Let’s move to Helmsley, North Yorkshire: super sweet and picture perfect


What’s going for it? Helmsley’s so sweet I can feel the cavities forming in my teeth from 10 miles away. The town is straight off a box of fudge, all honeyed stone and pansies waving from prize-winning hanging baskets. Utterly delicious, with its Norman castle, Palladian pile, secret garden and streets of rigorously renovated and scrupulously scrubbed 18th-century cottages. Just not very good for the waistline. Imagine living here: you’d need a will of iron, blinkers or a StairMaster tethered to your shins to cope with the tea shops and bakers, delis and grocers, selling sucrose in various forms: pickles, preserves, jams, chutneys, chocs, fudge, treacle, Yorkshire curd tarts, mint choc chips… To survive, work it all off in the open air pool – don’t worry, it’s heated. Or look beneath the packaging and see the earthier market town it was, and sometimes still is. Market day, Friday mornings, perhaps, when the tarpaulined stalls are hugger-mugger. Or on a Sunday afternoon in summer, when the leavening presence of leathered bikers congregate with coach parties in Market Place, pausing for a pint en route to Scarborough. Some of the best charity shops in the north, according to resident Simon Read – a virtue of an ageing population.

The case against Too sweet, too Tory, too touristy for some.

Well connected? You’ll need a car (or a Harley). Hardly isolated, but not in the thick of things, either. Trains: the nearest is at Thirsk, 25 mins away, on the east coast mainline, though you generally have to change at York or Northallerton for the longer distance trains. Driving: 40 mins to the A1(M), 50 to York or the coast at Scarborough.

Schools Primaries: Helmsley Community and nearby St Hilda’s Ampleforth CofE are “good”, says Ofsted. Secondaries: just outside town, Ryedale is “outstanding”.

Hang out at… Summat’s Brewing, a stripped-back microbrewery and pub. Plenty of coaching inns in town, such as the Feathers, Black Swan or Feversham Arms. The stars, though, are just outside, such as the Hare at Scawton, and the Star Inn and Pheasant at Harome.

Where to buy I hope you like stone, preferably cream and honey coloured. There’s not much else, whether built in 1790 or 1984. The entire town is a delight, so it’s hard to go wrong. Cottages, Georgian townhouses, Victorian bargeboards: fill your boots with period details. Farmhouses, too, working or otherwise. Large detacheds and townhouses, £600,000-£900,000. Detacheds and smaller townhouses, £250,000-£600,000. Semis, £200,000-£350,000. Terraces and cottages, £175,000-£300,000. Flats, £150,000-£350,000. Rentals: not much; a one-bedroom flat, £400pcm; a three-bedroom house, £1,300pcm.

Bargain of the week Very little: this sizeable, four-bedroom flat near the castle is £230,000, with boultoncooper.co.uk.

Live in Helmsley? Join the debate below.

From the streets

Simon ReadRyeburn ice-cream parlour (danger to waistline).’

Juliet StottMannion is a fab small cafe that serves homemade gourmet food. Also the walled garden and its amazing vine house cafe.’

Do you live in Lancaster? Do you have a favourite haunt or a pet hate? If so, email lets.move@theguardian.com by Tuesday 20 August.



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