Lockdown has been tough on us all – but especially for new mums and dads, who are trying to navigate becoming parents in a scary time.
Josh Boffin has welcomed a baby in a time when his friends and family can’t visit.
Josh, from Oxfordshire, is 24 and is a key worker in a prison. His partner Hannah gave birth to their now eight-week-old baby boy, Teddy, on 3 April 2020.
Teddy was born at 1.23am weighing 7lbs 6oz.
Due to the pandemic, which has caused restrictions on hospitals, Josh and Hannah requested a home birth and were lucky to be able to have one.
Josh says he was ‘so excited’ when he found out Hannah was pregnant, but as the UK went into lockdown he felt immense anxiety about the world his baby would arrive into.
The dad tells Metro.co.uk: ‘I was more than anxious but can’t quite find a word to do that feeling justice. I was scared for what could happen.
‘Very limited research into the effect of Covid-19 on babies existed at that time, so I had no idea how possible it was for the baby to become unwell and what the consequences of that would be if he did.
‘I was so worried about the birth, too. I wanted to be there more than anything to support my partner with what is, quite honestly, a pretty traumatic event.
‘I wanted to see my son as he was born, and to hold my partner’s hand and tell her that everything is fine.
‘There were touch and go moments when I thought I wouldn’t even be allowed near the hospital given all the restrictions.’
Since the UK went into lockdown, restrictions have varied in hospitals. Some hospitals have not allowed anyone apart from medical staff to be present at the birth, others have said partners can be there for active labour and C-Sections, and some partners have been allowed to stay in the room afterwards.
Some hospitals simply can’t allow home birth at the moment, but Josh and Hannah were lucky enough to be able to go ahead with the plan.
Out of fear that Josh wouldn’t see his son being born, he and Hannah ‘pretty much demanded a home birth’.
‘The home birth was amazing,’ says Josh. ‘Hannah went into labour fully at about 9pm. She was assessed over the phone and was told a midwife was on their way and would be there by 11pm.
‘At 11pm they arrived and came inside and set up in the bedroom, which is where Hannah said she wanted the birth to happen.
‘Both the midwife and a student midwife wore masks at all times, along with gloves and an apron, but were both so friendly it made no difference and we barely took any notice of the PPE.
‘We told them there was food in the fridge and where the tea and coffee was so they made us all tea while waiting for baby to make an appearance.
‘Hannah’s waters went at about 1.15am and seven minutes later – cue Teddy!
‘The comforts in your own home made the whole thing so easy. No transfer to hospital and she was up and about toasting crumpets an hour after giving birth.
‘It was the best experience and my partner thoroughly recommends it to everyone.’
Josh says that though being at home was brilliant, it was hard not having friends or family over to meet their new arrival.
He tells us: ‘Our parents have been dying to meet him but they haven’t been able to give Teddy a cuddle yet.
‘My partner’s parents who live in Brighton haven’t been able to see him in person at all yet which is really upsetting. Hopefully soon!’
Being a new dad in lockdown brings challenges.
Josh explains: ‘There’s very little we could do to occupy ourselves, particularly when he was first born because we were in the really strict part of lockdown where exercise was only allowed once per day.
‘We couldn’t get out to clear our heads. Couldn’t show him the outside very much. Things got difficult being cooped up all day, especially when he was crying a lot.
‘But the biggest positive is that this has made me really value my family, more than I already did. It’s made me focus on what’s important and that’s spending time together.
‘You don’t need to head out all the time to enjoy yourselves. Family time at home and playing in the garden is the best way to be and feel close.’
Because he is a keyworker, Josh has still been working, which he did throughout Hannah’s pregnancy.
‘I work in a prison so am a key worker and have been doing lots of overtime to help staff when they went off unwell, and to support those in my care’, he said.
‘My partner was fine with it and is loving being at home with the little one.
‘I would come home and have to strip off my uniform at the door, and get it cleaned immediately before getting into a long and super hot shower to make sure I was okay.
‘The only sad part was that during the first few weeks of his life, I would have to minimise physical contact with my baby just in case.’
Josh wants to urge other new dads to seek support if they need it and to know that ‘their best is always good enough’.
He says: ‘Kids are so much fun. Challenging and can be difficult at times, but more fun than anything.
‘I expected dad life to be full-on, but didn’t expect him to feed quite as much as he does! He loves his milk!’
‘I love being a parent. I wouldn’t change it for the world. It can be stressful, but there’s nothing else like it. Kids are the smartest, funniest most loving things in the world.
‘Don’t feel you need to come up with creative plans and don’t stress yourself out if you feel you have nothing to do. Spend time together. Be at home. Be happy in the presence of your family. They’re what matters.’
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