Breaking her silence over the tragic end to their car-crash romance, Kerry said George’s death from a drug overdose three weeks ago was tragic but inevitable.
And she claimed if his life hadn’t been cut short, she feared she would be the one dead…because their relationship was so toxic.
Ex-Atomic Kitten singer Kerry, 38, said: “To be honest it’s almost a relief he died when he did, when DJ is at this age. George couldn’t be saved. He was always going to die.
“This way DJ is saved from having to grow up witnessing all the psychotic episodes he would have had…you have to remember the hell he put us through.”
Kerry, who married George in 2014 but took out a restraining order on him a year and a half ago, added: “If he hadn’t have died, it would’ve been me.
“My mum says she was just waiting for the call from the police to say he’d killed me.
“And I know myself, I’d never have been able to relax unless he was either back in jail or dead. Now he’s dead, there’s a sense of relief.”
George, 38, died on July 6 at the Holiday Inn in Runcorn, Cheshire, after allegedly eating cocaine.
He had a long history of drug abuse and battled mental health issues throughout their relationship.
She told of her anger about his death but also how she is “deeply sad and confused” because despite their fiery relationship, she loved him.
Recalling the chilling moment she was told he was dead, Kerry said: “My mobile phone rang and it was George’s dad.
“My first thought was that he was coming to the house to kidnap DJ. Then I got a message from his brother Ash, telling me to ring him and suddenly I just knew. I knew George was dead.”
Kerry then faced the devastating task of telling five-year-old DJ and her other kids, Molly, 17, Lily, 16, Heidi, 12, and Max, 11.
She said: “I just screamed. I went straight home, had my friend take DJ to Morrisons, and told the other children what had happened.
“Max and Heidi threw themselves on the floor and Molly and Lily were shocked and upset.
“We were all petrified of George. We all knew I was better off without him. But he knew me better than anybody. He’d make me feel like I was safe.
“When DJ came back I sat her down and told her, “Daddy’s fallen asleep, he hasn’t woken up and he’s in Heaven, which means Daddy’s died.’
“She had come back from Morrison’s with some toys and she was more interested in them than what I was saying. It was too much for her to take in.
“His mum and dad gave me a big bag of toys and cards he’d written before he died.
“I can’t even get them out of the car. They’ve been in the boot for three weeks. I can’t bring myself to read them.”
Kerry then drove back to her and George’s hometown of Warrington, Cheshire to visit her mum Sue, his parents – and George’s body at the Chapel of Rest.
She said: “I was screaming, ‘You d******d, what have you done?’
“I’m so angry at him. I’m furious that he couldn’t leave that s*** well enough alone. He loved it more than me or his daughter.”
Kerry couldn’t bring herself to go to the funeral but is adamant George didn’t commit suicide.
She said: “I don’t know where this ‘eating cocaine’ thing has come from. But let me be clear – his death was accidental. George was too vain to kill himself.”
Childhood sweethearts Kerry and George rekindled their romance after a chance meeting in 2012.
But his regular cocaine binges, which caused him to hallucinate, became a huge problem in their relationship.
She said: “I’d never seen that in anyone else, I think it was his demons coming out.”
Fighting back tears Kerry explained: “George was the nicest guy you could ever meet.
“He’d take care of my nan! But then he was a complete psycho. He’d come into the house, off his head hallucinating and get a knife, while the children were there.”
George’s jealousy was also out of control – with Kerry admitting he made would make her sleep in the bath.
Kerry said: “I once sat on Anthony Costa’s knee, the groomsman at my wedding, a man who’s basically like my brother – and I had to sleep in the bath that night.
“George called me a slag and I had to sleep in the tub. Two black eyes weren’t uncommon.”
The pair split for good in 2017 and they had not spoken in a year and a half before his death.
She added: “I’m eternally grateful for DJ, but I’m so, so angry. I hate myself for bringing him into my life and falling in love with him. I’ll never get over this – but he can’t hurt me again and I have to stop punishing myself.”