Jeremy Clarkson, 62, couldn’t contain his bewilderment when he read a story about beach-goers reporting a topless sunbather to the police in the South of France. The cops who responded to the complaint had to tell the lady to put her bikini top back on, but The Grand Tour host was exasperated that this is all they had to worry about at the moment.
In his latest column, he shared his views on the report, shrugging it off in a very Jezza-like manner.
“My beef, however, is with the people who reported the topless girl to the police in the first place,” he said, after comparing banning topless sunbathers in France to “banning gondolas from Venice” and “Beefeaters from the Tower of London”.
But it was the excuse the complaintants used that got him.
“They say they found her breasts upsetting,” he sighed.
The former Top Gear presenter referenced the ongoing public health crisis the world is facing, how the economy is on the “brink of collapse”, the migrant crisis and the riots in America before mocking those who saw fault with a topless individual on a beach.
“They’d decided their biggest problem was a couple of exposed nipples,” he blasted.
Jeremy was at the centre of a cruel death hoax over the weekend, after a Twitter user started the hashtag RIP Jeremy Clarkson.
The abundance of “facts” appeared to be false, which led others to criticise people taking part in the sick joke.
“So disrespectful and to think so many are tweeting taking the p**s. What is wrong with people Grrr,” one snapped.
“#RIPJeremyClarkson not gonna lie I saw this trending and nearly had a heart attack I was worried that we actually lost this legend,” a second breathed a sigh of relief after they read some of the “insane” posts.
A third slammed: “Whether you like him or not whoever started this hashtag is a very sick person and they need help #RIPJeremyClarkson.”
Many urged the controversial presenter to address the rumours and set their minds at ease, which he eventually did.
But instead of acknowledging the bizarre viral hashtag, it was just a normal Friday for Jezza.
“Who Wants To Be A Millionaire is worth a watch this evening,” he posted at 7pm.
He followed it up with a separate message about his farm that’s the centre of his new TV show: “We have about 40 Spring lambs for sale at the Diddly Squat shop tomorrow. If you’re in the area, drop in…”