James Blunt has thanked Twitter trolls for inspiring him to pen a book… which can be used as a multi-purpose item in the bog.
The singer, who was Guilty Pleasures’ agony uncle during the first lockdown, has merged his famous experiences on social media to show what 2020 has been like for him in How To Be A Complete and Utter Blunt: Diary of a Reluctant Social Media Sensation.
Now more famous for his comedic Twitter put-downs than his singing, he told GP: ‘You can stop me doing live music by introducing a virus, but in doing so I will just put a book out.’
The You’re Beautiful singer says army banter gave him the thick skin to survive trolls when he first became a prime target more than a decade ago.
‘In the army we never take things seriously. We take the p*** out of each other,’ he said.
The 46-year-old admits he was ‘surprised’ by the ‘negativity’ he received when he released music.
But he joked: ‘I was selling albums in the millions which was a surprise too. You get that people might buy it, but then you have people who are very angry with my existence which was a shock. I am not that bothered by stuff I don’t enjoy or like.
‘If there is a TV show I don’t like I don’t watch it. It would be weird of me to go online to say how much I dislike it. But people do. Humans are crazy like it.’
Social media has turned people into ‘narcissists’ but also given him a chance to fight back, he said.
‘Twitter allows me to reply to people as a human rather than a marketing team… in fact, I am just a vulgar idiot.
‘Twitter brings out the worst in people and Instagram brings out a side in people to show off their life that doesn’t really exist.
‘That results in other people feeling inadequate about themselves.’
James is ‘glad’ trolls exist as, ‘for that reason I have a book out’. But he warned online life is challenging the sanity of families.
‘Society has become very self-orientated… narcissistic. Will children think their parents are mad because they spend time looking at their phones? Probably not because they just spend their time looking at the iPad,’ he said.
So why should fans buy his story? ‘The second wave of virus is with us now. People have been panic buying loo roll and there is a shortage. This book is designed to be read sitting on the loo and pages used as appropriate afterwards,’ he quipped.
The book, published by Constable, is out on Thursday.
Zayn and Gigi dote on their little monster
It was treat over trick for Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid fans as they shared a debut snap of their new daughter -celebrating her first Halloween.
Giving a hint at her personality, they used a graphic of The Incredible Hulk to conceal the tot’s face as mum and dad beamed at her in their own Halloween garb.
Former 1D-er Zayn, 27, dressed as Harry Potter, while mum Gigi, 25, who gave birth in September, slipped into blue spandex like a superhero.
The family pic comes after US model Gigi revealed she is battling with her new schedule and making sweet use of her baby’s nap times.
In a thank you note to well-wishers, she wrote: ‘If I have not posted about something, it is not from a lack of gratitude. Just a new mom trying to get it all sorted while she naps!’
MNEK: fight for acceptance is a daily battle
MNEK has opened up about his battle for acceptance as a gay black man — after revealing trolls dubbed him ‘an abomination with the devil in his eyes’.
The Head & Heart singer finds it impossible to fit in wherever he turns.
‘Being a minority is one thing, being a double minority — having to grapple with those two identities — there are a lot of layers to it,’ the 25-year-old said.
The reality hit home when he released his debut album, he told GP.
‘I am not seen as the template for a black person. There were a lot of positive comments on what I was trying to achieve, but definitely negative ones from people who felt I was demoralising the black experience.
‘That I was being an abomination and that the devil was in my eyes. These were the comments I was getting,’ said the producer, who is helming Little Mix’s new album Confetti.
‘I’m there to open up the conversation, to show there is more than just the black straight person, there is the black queer person, the black trans person — there’s just not one thing that people have to accept.
‘Being black is one thing in itself and it’s a battle we face every day,’ he added.
‘The structure of the world — beyond micro-aggressions, or type-casting — that tells you white is apparently superior. Then you add the gay thing and it is also a bit alienating.’
Jobs for our boys! Liam hopes 1D sons follow fathers’ direction
Liam Payne says just because Zayn Malik will no longer play in a band with him, it doesn’t mean their offspring can’t start a new generation One Direction.
Payne, who has three-year-old son Bear with ex Cheryl, spoke about his former bandmate becoming a father during a secret Halloween gig at The London Dungeon’s Torture Cage over the weekend.
Dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates Of The Caribbean, he commented on Zayn’s baby news as well as bandmate Louis Tomlinson’s four-year-old son Freddie.
‘Three of us have children now. We have almost got enough for a new band,’ the singer quipped.
He also said Harry Styles has developed an American twang after his movie turn in LA, which was ‘funny’. The 27-year-old then went full American Psycho when a fan asked what weapon he’d use to fight zombies:
‘A chainsaw. I could do a lot of damage with that,’ he said.
Jess: I regret my restaurant tracksuit rant
Jess Glynne regrets accusing a restaurant of ‘discrimination’ after they turned her away for bowling up to lunch wearing a tracksuit.
The Take Me Home singer, 30, suffered a backlash this summer after a Twitter rant at posh London eatery Sexy Fish.
‘I wish I never posted it. It got so misconstrued. I called it discrimination which was the wrong word,’ she said.
‘I appreciate I wasn’t dressed appropriately. My point was, as a human being, you shouldn’t be disregarded,’ she told The Telegraph’s Luxury magazine.
Being this hot can be such a Hammer blow
Armie Hammer has explained why it’s hard to be hot in Hollywood.
The newly-separated hunk, who shot sex scenes with Lily James in Netflix show Rebecca, hates being hired for his handsome features.
The 34-year-old told Total Film: ‘It’s not something I think about. I don’t want that to be a part of the discussion.
I have nothing to do with any of that. What I would rather people appreciate is, “That guy’s put in a lot of hard work”. There’s nothing I can do about the way I look.’
Sacha’s gift for ‘Borat’ babysitter’s church
Sacha Baron Cohen has donated $100,000 (£77,500) to a church that unexpectedly featured in his new Borat movie.
The star gave the cash to a church attended by Jeanise Jones, who appeared in the film. In it she looked after his character’s fictional 15-year-old daughter Tutar, played by actress Maria Bakalova.
Fans praised Jeanise for encouraging Tutar to ‘be happy’ and telling her to ‘use her brain, because her daddy is a liar’ after Borat made misogynistic comments about the girl.
Pastor Derrick Scobey, of the Ebenezer Baptist Church, Oklahoma City, said of the gift: ‘I was blown away but not surprised because I was told about what type of heart this man has. Maybe it’s a little risqué, some things in the movie, but he has a good heart.’
The pastor has also set up a GoFundMe page for Jeanise — who believed she was starring in a documentary about child brides — as she lost her job amid the pandemic.
Damon: Prescribe live music to help fight Covid
Damon Albarn thinks live music should be part of the ‘prescription’ to fight coronavirus.
The Blur and Gorillaz star knows the crisis is a ‘medical emergency’ but insists it is also an ‘existential one’ for the music industry. And the 52-year-old, who recorded a new album via Zoom in lockdown, says live acts should be allowed to play if they are ‘willing to perform’.
‘You’ve got to allow music to continue. It’s more important than ever to imagine the future,’ he said.
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