Entertainment

Jade Goody's mum Jackiey Budden's heartache and haunting memories 10 years on


Almost a decade ago, reality TV star Jade Goody’s untimely death at just 27 years old left the nation distraught.

But nobody was more heartbroken than her adoring family, which included her sons Bobby and Freddie, her husband Jack Tweed and her mother, Jackiey Budden.

Jackiey was Jade’s rock while she was alive, and was there every step of the way throughout her devastating cancer battle.

From persuading her to look at herself in the mirror for the first time after losing her hair to holding her hand by her hospital bedside, Jade’s mother was with her through it all.

While Jade’s battle with cancer sadly only lasted eight months, her mother’s heartache remains to this day.

Jade Goody and mum Jackiey Budden were inseparable

 

Washing Jade’s body

Jade Goody’s mother Jackiey has been praised for her strength following her death – but she confessed her final moments with the reality star will always break her heart.

Speaking on This Morning, the doting mum recalled the haunting moment she had to wash her daughter’s body, revealing it’s still etched in her memory.

She said: “People say it gets easier [over time], but it never gets easier.

“It’s the same every day. The hardest thing is, it doesn’t go away… and what I can’t get around, when she passed, I was the one who bathed, washed her and I get that flash back all the time.”

In an other exclusive interview with The Daily Mirror, Jackiey chillingly recalled how her daughter’s back was purple and blue.

She emotionally added: “I wish I had never done it because the flashback never goes away and it’s awful. I had never been in that situation before”.

Jackiey Budden had to wash her daughter’s body after her death

 

Eating dinner by her grave

Following Jade’s death, Jackiey heartbreakingly used to visit her grave in Upshire and eat dinner with her.

She told the Daily Mail that the trips made her feel closer to her late daughter.

“I used to lay out a blanket and sit and have dinner with her and talk to her,” she touchingly revealed.

While the trips to Jade’s grave originally gave Jackiey comfort, she eventually took a lengthy break from visiting.

Jackiey Budden (Pic:Getty)
Jackiey Budden used to have dinner by Jade’s grave

Attempting suicide

Things got so dark for Jackiey that she even attempted suicide in the wake of Jade’s passing.

Pouring her heart out to Mail On Sunday, she recalled the horrific moment she slashed her legs with razor blades, in a desperate attempt to be reunited with her daughter.

She told the publication she had written a suicide note to her grandchildren Bobby and Freddie before the incident, in which she explained that she wished she could have “kept it together” for them.

She said: “I just wanted a way out. I have felt like the loneliest person in the world since Jade died and no one was listening for my cries for help.

“Everything was just getting on top of me and I just didn’t want to be here in a world without Jade. So I thought the best way to be with her was to end things for good.”

Luckily, Jackiey was rescued after a passer-by saw her collapsed unconscious on her doorstep – a ‘guardian angel’ moment for which she credits her daughter Jade.

Jackiey Budden struggled after her daughter's death
Jackiey Budden (Pic:PA)

Sleeping with Jade’s nightie

As the years went by, Jackiey learnt to deal with her heartache day-to-day.

However, she confessed just months ago that she still sleeps with her daughter’s nightie 10 years on to “give her strength”.

“It still smells of her,” she emotionally revealed. “I often put it in my bed and when I have it I feel close to my Jade again.”

Jackiey Budden sleeps with her daughter’s night dress

Raising her grandchildren

After Jade’s death, Jackiey acted as a shoulder to cry on for her daughter’s sons, alongside their dad Jeff Brazier.

“[Freddie tells me] to get on the fastest plane I can find, and take that picture all the way up to her star in the sky and give it to her,” she heartbreakingly told Mirror Online the year she died.

“But Bobby doesn’t talk about his mum anymore. He is very sensitive and is dealing with it in his own way”.

While Jackiey moved to Tenerife in the years after her daughter’s death, Jeff said that she was still “very prominent” in his kids’ lives.

The boys have been just as much as a support to Jackiey as she has been to them.

In 2017, Freddie even touchingly opted to spend Christmas with her instead of his dad Jeff and the rest of the family, so that she wasn’t alone.

Freddy and Bobby were just 4 and 5 when Jade died

 

Fears over her legacy

Jackiey talked about how Jade’s legacy has helped people

When Jade passed away, the amount of women who went for cervical cancer screenings sky rocketed.

The reality star’s family have made no secret about how proud they are for raising awareness throughout the eight months she was suffering, with fly-on-the-wall documentaries and candid posts online.

However, this year, emotional Jackiey sobbed on This Morning as she discussed how the number of women going for tests was dropping again.

She said: “Jade’s legacy is a kick in the teeth really because it has gone down, you know the smear tests, a lot of people don’t do it like they did a couple of years ago.”

“It takes five minutes and I’ve never, ever missed one,” she went on.

Urging women not to be embarrassed and to go and get screenings, Jackiey added: “[Jade] said she did not understand why women would be embarrassed, given that they have babies and are examined internally.”

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