Parenting

I’ve NEVER made my four kids share, they don’t have to say sorry or do homework and I refuse to tell them off too


A MUM-of-four has revealed she never makes her kids share, apologise or do their homework – and she doesn’t punish them either. 

Jessica Offer says she had “precious ideals” about what kind of parent she’d be, but that all changed after she had kids. 

Jessica shared her parenting method but admitted it's 'controversial'

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Jessica shared her parenting method but admitted it’s ‘controversial’Credit: Supplied

The mum acknowledges her parenting style is “controversial”, but says she’s still managed to raise “four extraordinary humans”. 

While most children learn to play nicely and share, Jessica doesn’t force her brood to share their toys or games with each other. 

She told Kidspot: “I really don’t think it’s fair or reasonable if one of my four children are having a nice time playing with a toy or doing an activity and then are interrupted by a sibling and forced to share because it’s ‘time’.”

Jessica said one child’s enjoyment doesn’t “trump another”, and in her household kids wait until their sibling is finished with their turn – no matter how long it is. 

Jessica has four kids, and never makes them share their toys or clothes

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Jessica has four kids, and never makes them share their toys or clothesCredit: Supplied

While she understands it’s “hard”, she says waiting is “part of life” and a good lesson to learn. 

None of her children are expected to apologise either, as she doesn’t believe this is how kids learn true empathy. 

Jessica said: “Sure – I could make them parrot the words ‘I’m sorry’ to one of their siblings after they do the wrong thing but just because they may say the words doesn’t mean they feel the emotions associated with them.”

Jessica said she had 'precious ideals' of what kind of parent she'd be like before kids

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Jessica said she had ‘precious ideals’ of what kind of parent she’d be like before kidsCredit: Supplied

Instead she encourages her kids to “make amends” when they’ve fully grasped the situation, and can offer a genuine apology. 

Another thing most children have to deal with is homework, but not in the Offer house. 

Jessica believes that after six hours of learning, the last thing her kids need when they get home is more “systematic learning”. 

I definitely do not want my children to be ‘obedient’ because they fear me

Jessica

She added that they do reading every night, but that’s it until the kids go to secondary school. 

And while a fundamental part of parenting is teaching kids right and wrong, with praise and punishment part of that, Jessica has chosen a different approach. 

The mum refuses to punish her kids, even when they make “poor choices in behaviour or actions”. 

Jessica also never makes her kids apologise or do homework

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Jessica also never makes her kids apologise or do homework Credit: Supplied

Jessica explained: “Absolutely, alongside my husband I implement and encourage natural consequences for future learning but I do my best not to parent out of anger and I definitely do not want my children to be ‘obedient’ because they fear me or fear the outcomes.”

She said her kids making mistakes and learning from them is how they “cognitively develop”. 

Jessica also lets her kids wear whatever they want, and she never makes them eat food they dislike either. 

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