When it comes to dating and relationships, a lot of women want only one thing: free food. According to a groundbreaking study, up to a third of heterosexual women have dated men they’re not romantically interested in simply because they want a free meal – a phenomenon known as the “foodie call”. The research found that women who subscribe to traditional gender roles and score highly on the “dark triad” of personality traits (psychopathy, machiavellianism and narcissism) were more likely to engage in them.
I’m not sure what the point of this study was, but it’s worth noting a number of the researchers behind it came from Azusa Pacific University, an evangelical Christian university in California whose stated mission is to develop “disciples and scholars prepared to impact the world for Christ”. And, while Jesus was a big fan of giving food to the hungry, you imagine he would not have been too keen on scamming snacks.
But enough about Jesus – let’s talk about me. While I have not conducted rigorous academic research into the free food habits of heterosexual women, I have gathered years of empirical evidence that seems to support the researchers’ thesis. I am constantly struck by how many women I know consider themselves feminists but still expect men to offer to pay for the first date – although, to be fair, these gendered expectations may be somewhat more pronounced in the US than in the UK. A 2018 study found that 65% of British women prefer to pay on the first date, while a similarly timed study of American singles by the dating company Match found that 72% of women thought men should pay.
Call me old-fashioned, but I reckon that if you are only interested in a dude for food, you should probably be upfront about it. Be like Kate, a Chicago-based woman who went viral a few years ago for asking every man she matched with on Tinder to send her pizza. “Just be straight up with the guys, and tell them you want a pizza,” Kate advised at the time. As for guys, she counselled: “Don’t send dick pics. Send pizzas.” Truly, advice to live by.
• Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist
