'I'm pregnant, so is my sister-in-law and cousin – we all want to use the same name'

An expectant mum has shared an issue she’s facing with her sister-in-law and husband’s cousin, as all three are having kids and want to use the same baby name for all three

Pregnant woman thinking about baby names
All of the women want to use the same name (stock photo)

A mum-to-be has shared her moral dilemma after finding out two of her pregnant in-laws are considering the same name for their newborn sons.

The expectant mother, her partner’s sister and his cousin are all expecting to give birth within two months of each other.

Turning to Mumsnet for advice, the unnamed woman told how her mother-in-law had recently warned her that one particular name was “off the table” because the cousin had already decided on it.

But that just so happened to be the same baby name that she wanted too – and the name the partner’s sister was considering.

The unfortunate coincidence has left mums online divided on the right thing to do.

Sharing details of the family dilemma at six-months-pregnant, the woman wrote: “My partner and I are expecting a boy in August. Partner’s sister is expecting a boy in September and his cousin is expecting a boy in October.

Turning to Mumsnet for advice, the woman told how her mother-in-law had recently warned her that one particular name was “off the table”


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“You can probably guess where this is going! We were told today by my partner’s mum that a certain name is ‘off the table’ because his cousin has decided on it.

“This is the name we’d pretty much decided on too. Partner’s sister has it as her second choice apparently.

“Are we being unreasonable to think that as we probably get to go first then we can go for whatever we like? Or is that a bit selfish? They’d all have different surnames and we barely see the cousin anyway.”

While keeping schtum on the name itself, the mum later revealed in the comments that the name was the same as her partner’s grandfather – hence it being such a popular choice within the family.

The mum’s question has been met by dozens of comments from parents sharing their thoughts on what she should do.

Many were of the opinion that no one can “bagsy” a name for their unborn child, while others said the cousin might rightly be annoyed if she went ahead with the name.

One person wrote: “Ouch! Whichever baby is born first gets named first.

“Nobody has the right to dictate to you what you can and cannot call your child. Your baby, your choice.”

Another commented: “No one owns a name. Use what you want. But don’t get cross if they use the same name.”

A third parent posted: “You can’t own a name and frankly it’s unkind to say ‘X is off the table’. For all anyone knows you could have picked this out pre-conception.

“I don’t think it matters if there are two in one family. But I now really want to know the name! Both my siblings are expecting boys this summer and we have a 9mo boy but we all have very different tastes in names so this isn’t an issue.

“I don’t think I’d change my choice anyway.”

“If you’d genuinely wanted that name before you heard from partner’s mum about the cousin wanted it, and your baby is coming first… I would use it,” said one mum. “But as [previously] said, be prepared for cousins to still use it.

“It might be annoying if they will see a lot of each other growing up…. or it might not bother you. Honestly, it bugs me when people try to claim names.”

Another parent sympathised with the woman’s situation, writing: “Your situation sounds exactly the same as mine. I am currently pregnant (due Oct), SIL is due August and DP’s cousin is due in Sept.

“SIL knows she’s having a boy, cousin’s will be a girl and we aren’t finding out until baby arrives. But we know we love one particular boy’s name, it’s the only one we’ve both liked and we will be absolutely gutted if SIL chooses it.

“That said, we aren’t telling them what the name is or telling them it’s ‘off the table’ because their baby will be here first and they can name him whatever they please and while we’ll be gutted, we will just have to agree on something else if they choose it.

“Our name is quite unusual so I would be surprised if they picked it but not so unusual that it is an impossibility.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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