Parenting

I’m devastated my daughter’s school nativity is cancelled, now she’s even more isolated


THE nativity play is a highlight of the school calendar for children and parents alike.

But this year, millions of youngsters will miss out on learning lines with their friends, singing in choirs . . . and the nervous excitement of performing in front of Mum and Dad.

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Julie Oprea says having so many events cancelled is making Adriana, 7, feel isolated

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Julie Oprea says having so many events cancelled is making Adriana, 7, feel isolated

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THIS Christmas we are teaming up with the Together Campaign, a coalition of community groups and organisations, and Royal Voluntary Service to combat loneliness.

And we want to recruit an army of volunteers to support those feeling cut off, anxious and isolated, this Christmas.

Could YOU reach out to someone who might be struggling and alone?    

It might be someone you know in your own life or community who needs support.

Or we can connect you with someone in need through the NHS Volunteer responder programme run by the NHS, Royal Voluntary Service and the GoodSAM app. 

Could you give up half an hour to make a call and chat with someone feeling  isolated? Or could you volunteer to deliver essential shopping or festive treats?

Go to nhsvolunteerresponders.org.uk/christmastogether to sign up as a volunteer. 

You will then receive an email taking you through the sign up process and be asked to download the responder app which will match you to those in need in your area.

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Due to the pandemic, just half of schools are putting on festive shows — and most of those will be virtual, according to a survey by the Teacher Tapp app.

Many Christmas fairs, school discos and Santa grottos have been cancelled or moved online.

For mum Caraline Bytheway, 43, cancelling her four-year-old daughter Isabelle’s first school nativity means the little girl will miss out on a key development milestone.

Office manager Caraline, of Leeds, who is married to businessman Jason, 49, says: “This year was going to be Isabelle’s first Christmas production at school, and I am gutted for both of us it isn’t happening.

Caraline Bytheway says cancelling four-year-old Isabelle’s first school nativity means she will miss out on a key development milestone

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Caraline Bytheway says cancelling four-year-old Isabelle’s first school nativity means she will miss out on a key development milestone

“It would have been an opportunity for Isabelle to shine and she would have been so proud of herself.

“She loves singing and dancing, so she would have enjoyed every minute of learning her lines and getting up on stage with her friends.

“The build-up to Christmas is the best bit and the school play is part of that.

“So when I read the email to say it wouldn’t be happening, I felt really sad.

Anamika Adwaney believes her five-year-old son Aiden needs this Christmas more than ever

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Anamika Adwaney believes her five-year-old son Aiden needs this Christmas more than ever

“I used to get teary at my niece and nephew’s nativity plays and I couldn’t wait for my turn to watch as a mum. There’s nothing the school can do about it and I understand it isn’t safe to bring parents together.

“But it is a huge shame, for the kids especially. Before Covid-19, we had Isabelle’s friends over for sleepovers. But now she isn’t mixing with any of them outside of school, which is isolating.

“They chat or do colouring on FaceTime but it isn’t the same as interacting face to face. I know she feels frustrated and fed-up.

“We call Covid the ‘funny bug’ and she said the other day she would punch it in the face if she could. No nativity is another disappointment after a rubbish year.”

Julie says Adriana told her she was feeling lonely and missing her friends

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Julie says Adriana told her she was feeling lonely and missing her friends

Research carried out by campaign group No Isolation found three-quarters of parents (76 per cent) of kids aged five to ten worry their children have often felt lonely during the pandemic.

Writer Julie Oprea, 43, from Southampton, says having so many events cancelled is making her seven-year-old daughter Adriana, who is usually a very sociable child, feel isolated.

Julie, who is married to musician Cornel, 40 says: “Very early on in the first lockdown, Adriana told me she was feeling lonely and missing her friends.

“She started watching videos online of other children playing together and having parties.

Caraline says Isabelle feels 'frustrated and fed-up'

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Caraline says Isabelle feels ‘frustrated and fed-up’

“It made me incredibly sad, as I could see she was really missing her old life.

“She was trying to get her fix from watching other children play.

“Adriana was always a really bubbly little girl who would play with anyone. Now she is mostly on her own at home.

“Usually at Christmas we go to a grotto at school but that has been cancelled, along with the Christmas fair and Adriana’s end-of-term disco.

Aiden asked his mum if 'all of is London dead' because of coronavirus

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Aiden asked his mum if ‘all of is London dead’ because of coronavirus

“We’d usually see her friends at all of these events but, of course, they are all just going to be added to the list of things she has to miss out on.

“During the first lockdown Adriana would cry a lot, unable to understand why she couldn’t see people or go to dance club and swimming lessons.

“When parks reopened in the summer, I’d have to stop her hugging other kids.

“I felt I was telling her off for something I’d always loved about her. Now, she’ll stop in her tracks before I even tell her.

Millions of youngsters will miss out on school nativities this year

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Millions of youngsters will miss out on school nativities this yearCredit: Alamy

“I find it very sad as it has changed her personality — perhaps forever.”

Doctor Anamika Adwaney, 37, believes her five-year-old son Aiden needs this Christmas more than ever, after he became anxious and frustrated as the pandemic dragged on.

Anamika is married to pilot Gaurav, 40, and lives in Battersea, South West London, with Aiden and her other children, two-year-old Asher and Ava, one.

She says: “Aiden has always been an anxious child. He was very shy but after starting school last September, he was really coming out of his shell.

Four-year-old Isabelle loves singing and dancing

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Four-year-old Isabelle loves singing and dancing

“Then lockdown happened and we went in reverse.

“I tried one-to-one chats with his friends on FaceTime but he would just clam up.

“He once said to me, ‘Mum, is all of London dead because they have coronavirus?’

“His tolerance for most things just seems to have dropped. He gets angry if I say we can’t go to a soft-play or if we haven’t booked in advance for a day out.

Julie says Adriana would cry a lot during the first lockdown

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Julie says Adriana would cry a lot during the first lockdown

“He’ll ask every day why he can’t play with his best friends.

“We were hoping Christmas would be a happy time for him but it’s going to be very different.

“We usually have a big family Christmas and Aiden spends hours playing with his six cousins.

“They are all so close — like siblings, really. This year, he won’t even see them on Christmas Day.

Aiden asks every day why he can’t play with his best friends

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Aiden asks every day why he can’t play with his best friends

“We’ve also decided not to visit a grotto. I just feel it will not be the experience it’s been for him before.

“When the world returns to normal, we know he’ll be back to his happy old self.

“He is such a special little boy. In the meantime, we are making sure he knows he is loved.”

Compassion not yelling

PSYCHOLOGIST Emma Kenny says:

“Anger, frustration or behavioural difficulties could all be signs a child is struggling. Be compassionate rather than disciplining them.

“Talk to them about why they feel angry and share a little of your own feelings too.

“Limit screen time. Get them outdoors, doing physical activity, or do fun exercise at home.

“Children are more likely to open up while doing a task, so try talking while baking or drawing, for instance.

“Introduce a “worry jar”. Ask your child to write down their worry and put it in the jar. You can then take the jar away for them.

“If you notice extreme behaviours developing, such as self-harm, speak to your healthcare provider straight away.”

The Radfords give a tour of the incredible Christmas decorations in their home – and it looks like Santa’s grotto

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