Photograph: Marko/Stocksy United
I’d be lying if I said I’d been looking forward to my 40s. Before the big birthday rolled around, I’d defined this decade as old. Boring. I was wrong. Speaking to other fortysomething women, I realised this is the time to forget about guilty pleasures. Here, we’re celebrating all out, straight-up pleasures. Some are everyday. Some are extravagant. They share one important theme: experiences over things equals enjoyment.
‘I treated myself to a bike that’s turned me superhuman’
Sarah Emslie, 41, osteopath, Edinburgh
I caught myself saying “I’m having a midlife crisis” to the guy in the bike shop and I kicked myself, because it’s nonsense. If I want to blow four figures on a super-fast aerodynamic time trial bike then I should celebrate. We don’t need to apologise for having fun. Racing head down, number on my back, I feel superhuman. I love how clear my head feels speeding downhill at 60km an hour. My favourite moments are when my wife, Laura, rides ahead of me, so I can take in the view of the mountains with her zooming down. I’m faster over the course than I was last year. It’s exhilarating to be 41 and still get better at your sport. I don’t feel my age. I don’t feel anything except that I’m me.
‘I just enjoy being in a creative space’
Helena Smith, 41, psychologist, Kent
There are many hoops to jump through to get out of the house, especially because I’m a single mum, but my Tuesday life drawing class is worth it. I don’t give two monkeys about being good at sketching; I just enjoy being in a creative space where I don’t think about work or bills or the stress of being a working mum because I’m so in the moment. Taking time out forces you into a different mindset. It’s been years since I did anything creative like this, because when you have babies it’s nearly impossible to do anything for yourself. During the two-hour class, time disappears completely. It’s my ultimate indulgence, because it’s purely for myself – nobody else’s benefit.
‘Reading all morning is my ultimate indulgence’
Minhe Currier, 41, stay-at-home mum, Surrey
If I don’t get time to myself I just don’t function. It’s not even an indulgence, it’s a sanity issue. As a married mother of a six-year-old, I automatically put myself last. But after the school drop-off, I open a book and read. In my 20s and 30s all I did was work. I was a broker in the city, starting work at 6.30am, leaving at 7pm and coming home without the emotional energy to read anything at all. Now I’m really into non-fiction because I’ve discovered life is much stranger than anything an author can make up. Recently I’ve read Harriet Harman’s autobiography, A Woman’s Work, which I think is good enough to rival Michelle Obama’s Becoming. Harman was a big childcare campaigner and reinforced the idea that parents are better people when they have their own lives. I couldn’t agree more.
‘I get excited about an early night’
Rhiannon Evans, 48, surveyor, Cardiff
I’m happier after a big sleep, and my skin looks happier, too. I get excited about an early night. I crave sleep and dream about my duvet during a rough day at work. I’m in bed by 10pm and I fall asleep quickly, often while I’m reading, but perimenopausal hormonal mayhem means I’m often awake for two or three hours in the middle of the night. It doesn’t help that my kids, aged 18 and 21, keep totally different hours to mine. At the weekend I might sleep until 10am, which is bliss.
‘I never thought high street pasta could feel so extravagant’
Zohreh Ghaffari, 48, radiographer, London
Is it boring that my ultimate indulgence is eating pasta alle vongole until I can’t breathe? Add a nice glass of wine and finish up with chocolate and I’m a happy woman. In my 20s I ate out a lot without really thinking about it. Now going out for dinner is a mission: we need to book a babysitter and there are lots of stars that have to align workwise, because my husband and I both do shifts in different hospitals. But because we eat out so rarely, it feels special when we do. Sometimes we even have a random day off midweek together, so we treat ourselves and go for pasta on the high street while the kids are at school. That feels like a real indulgence.
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