'I spent £15k on an engagement ring but fiancée doesn't think it's good enough'

When it comes to engagement rings, there’s always a risk your partner won’t like the one you’ve picked.

This is why many people spend a lot of time researching before splashing the cash on a sparkly rock.

One man thought he’d done a good job of picking out a ring, after spending 10 years saving up the money to buy something his girlfriend would really love.

He even spoke to her nearest and dearest about the design and stone before committing to a purchase.

The unnamed man, who lives in the US, took to Reddit to admit he spent $20,000 on the ring (just under £15,000), which featured a lab-grown diamond instead of a natural one, as they are almost indistinguishable and he was able to get a bigger stone for his money.

Two scientists in a laboratory
The ring has a lab-grown diamond, not a natural one (stock photo)

He explains in an anonymous post on the Am I The A**hole forum that the proposal went really well and she said yes.

His fiancée initially appeared overjoyed with her ring, but things turned sour after she started asking questions.

“She asked me how much I had spent on her ring. I told her that I had spent about $20,000 on it that I had been squirrelling away for the last 10 years.

“She was initially floored that I had spent so much but later became suspicious that I had managed to get such a large stone (3.6 carats.) for the price, and asked to see the diamond certificate I got with the ring. I, of course, showed it to her (I thought she was worried I had been duped into buying a fake) and when she saw it was lab-grown she got upset that I hadn’t bought her a ‘real’ diamond.

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“This reaction stunned me for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I had always been open in my distaste for the natural diamond industry, and secondly because I had employed the assistance of her friends and mother and everyone agreed that she wouldn’t care if the diamond was lab-grown.”

The woman holds a ring and weeps.
She wants a ‘real’ diamond (stock photo)

He continues to say how he has spent the last week explaining to his partner how lab-grown diamonds are better for the environment and better value for money.

“I wanted to get her the most beautiful ring possible and lab-grown diamonds are in every way real diamonds and that they are also indistinguishable from natural ones unless you look at their certificate.

“I have also pointed out that she had no clue and would have never known if I hadn’t told her the price of her ring. But she insists that she can tell a difference and it is just not the same.”

His fiancée has since asked if they could swap the stone for a natural diamond of the same value, much to the man’s disappointment.

He added: “I spent months searching for the perfect ring for her and also, though value was the biggest reason for me, the idea of potentially getting a blood diamond really does sicken me. So I said no, and said if she wanted to give the ring back and end our relationship, that is fine, but I would not exchange it.

“She called me an a**hole and went to stay the night with her parents. Since then I have received multiple texts from her friends telling me to just acquiesce and exchange the ring (and, ultimately, I will if it means saving the relationship) but I just feel like this is something worth being firm on.”

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Hundreds of people have since responded to the Reddit post, sharing their thoughts on the situation.

One person said: “This is a pretty good sign of how the actual wedding and marriage will go in my opinion. Not the a**hole. You’re trying to look out for the world, if a real stone was that important to her, she probably would’ve brought up being against/wanting a lab-created diamond some point in your relationship. She’s being picky and should’ve been happy about the ring, which btw, sounds gorgeous.”

Another replied: “I never once thought of asking my hubby how much he spent on my ring. I absolutely loved the ring! But I loved the fact that he chose it more. The size didn’t matter. The setting didn’t matter. The price didn’t matter.”

A third wrote: “NTA You spent $20,000 on a ring and she isn’t happy? I think you have bigger fish to fry. What’s going to be enough for her?”

How would you handle this? Let us know in the comments below.


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