Parenting

I refused to breastfeed my best friend’s baby in hospital and now she won’t talk to me


WHETHER or not to breastfeed your baby is a deeply personal decision that all mothers have to make.

But asking your best friend to breastfeed your newborn on your behalf? Well, that’s a dilemma you don’t hear everyday.

The mum-of-four shared her experience on Reddit

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The mum-of-four shared her experience on RedditCredit: Getty Images – Getty

Sharing her experience on Reddit’s Am I The A****** forum, an anonymous mum-of-four explained how her best friend asked her to nurse the newborn when she was still in hospital.

As this was her first baby, the friend turned to the mum-of-four for pregnancy advice and said she “definitely” wanted to breastfeed but was nervous about it.

She wrote: “I told her I’d be there to offer as much support and advice as I could. She has no family here and the baby’s daddy stepped out of her life.”

When her due date rolled around, the devoted friend was there in the hospital room to hold her friend’s hand.

She claims her friend asked her to breastfeed her baby after she couldn't get them to latch on

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She claims her friend asked her to breastfeed her baby after she couldn’t get them to latch onCredit: Reddit

After the birth, the nurses immediately put the newborn on the mother’s chest for “skin to skin contact” and encouraged her to start immediately nursing.

“She’s trying to get the baby to latch and he’s just screaming his head off. I could tell she’s getting flustered so I tell her it’s okay, I had the same issue with my last.”

Much to the new mum’s frustration, she couldn’t get her baby to latch on that whole first day and when her friend returned the following day, she was still struggling.

She continued: ” I came back the next morning and she looks like she didn’t get a wink of sleep. She says baby pretty much screamed ALL night.

“He just won’t latch. I suggested a nipple shield which helped with my first. We tried that for awhile, no luck.”

She’s COMPLETELY against using formula. She calls it “poison”. And then she asked me to please try and latch him to my breast and feed him. 

It was at this point that the doctor stepped in and recommended using formula because the baby had already lost too much weight.

“She’s COMPLETELY against using formula. She calls it ‘poison,'” the woman said. “And then she asked me to please try and latch him to my breast and feed him.”

Unsurprisingly, the mum-of-four was so baffled by the request that she pulled a face without thinking.

She added: “I told her I just wasn’t comfortable with that and even if he did latch what would she do after I left? She needed to go ahead and supplement.”

However, the new mum immediately started yelling and demanded that she leave if she wasn’t “going to be helpful”.

NHS advice on breastfeeding:

  • The NHS’s Start4Life service states that new mothers will probably find breastfeeding “the easiest and most satisfying way to feed your baby”
  • It’s recommended that you find out as much as you can about breastfeeding while pregnant to make you feel more confident
  • Some women get the hang of breastfeeding more quickly than others, but nearly all produce enough milk
  • Giving nothing but breast milk is recommended for about the first six months (26 weeks)
  • After that, the health service states that giving breast milk alongside family foods will help your baby grow and develop healthily.
  • There are also outlines for a healthy breastfeeding diet and what to do if you need any help.

“She couldn’t believe I wouldn’t help out a best friend when I ‘had promised I would help her with nursing,'” the woman added.

Asking other members of the forum if she was in the wrong, the woman then added that her friend is refusing to speak to her.

Unsurprisingly, users rallied around the woman and insisted that she wasn’t in the wrong.

One replied: “Hormones are one thing, but your friend’s an idiot. That “poison” has saved generations of children who would have otherwise starved to death. She’s got no rights to you or your body, and you’re under no obligation to nurse someone else’s kid.”

Another added: “Your friend is not behaving rationally here. It’s not your responsibility to act as her wet nurse. Your friend is not making a reasonable request here.”

A third wrote: “She’s asking you to cross a boundary that was not at all previously discussed. I know she’s exhausted and stressed, but that doesn’t mean you have to bend to this demand…”

In more parenting news, this mum was left mortified after her toddlers yelled they could hear her “poo land in the toilet” in a public bathroom.

And this mum was lunchbox shamed for her son’s big meal – but she insists she’d pack MORE in if she could.

Plus this mum spent £10k on her daughter’s seventh birthday party so she could have 80 guests, a £400 cake and a performing ballerina.

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