'I refuse to let my mother-in-law babysit my child and my husband is furious about it'

A new mother has turned to the internet for some much needed advice after arguing with her husband as she refuses to let his parents babysit their infant child much to his fury

Couple arguing, man with head in hands
They’ve had lots of arguments about it (stock photo)

Becoming a mother is an emotional and challenging time and it can be hard to let go of your baby and allow others to get involved.

One new parent is finding it especially difficult to allow her in-laws to get stuck in with babysitting and it’s causing issues between her and her husband.

The unnamed woman revealed all in a post on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum, explaining that she has previously had a good relationship with her mother-in-law, but since the baby has been born, things have been more strained.

This is because she doesn’t want her baby to be at her mother-in-law’s house and her husband is upset about it.

She wrote: “Am I The A**hole for not wanting my MIL to take care of my baby?

“Before I had our baby almost two months ago, the relationship with my MIL was OK. She is very panicky and, in my opinion, self-centred. But we were ok with each other.

She doesn’t want her mother-in-law to look after the baby (stock photo)



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“She got very excited when I gave birth. However, her and my FIL are heavy smokers and I told them that I didn’t want them to smoke around my newborn and that they should wash their hands before touching him. Also that they should eat a mint or chew gum before getting near him.

“My MIL felt offended after this and started to raise her voice against me saying she wouldn’t let me forbid her from seeing her grandchild.

“I bring the baby to my parents when I need someone to take care of him. They also live nearer and I feel much more comfortable with them. But every time I bring the baby there, my husband gets jealous for his parents.

“They also live much further away and in the other direction of where I work etc. So taking the baby there would mean it would be even more stressful because I would lose 1.5h just for driving there and back.”

She went on to say that her mother has been insistent on babysitting as she is retired and has the time to help.

However, when the new mum tried to let her babysit, she said she would only do it at her own house and not come to them.

She adds: “Now, my husband keeps bugging me about wanting the baby to sleep over at his parents’ house and I really don’t feel comfortable about it.

“Every time he brings it up, we end up arguing. He said he would like the baby to sleep there more often as he is very exhausted from the short nights. My parents would also watch the baby anytime, but every time I bring the baby there I more and more feel how jealous he gets. I would rather sacrifice myself and take care of the baby before I have him sleep at my parents-in-law.”

Dozens of people responded to the post, with many agreeing that the mum was not wrong for wanting this.

One person said: “NTA. SO YOUR HUSBAND CARES MORE ABOUT HIS PARENTS FEELINGS THAN THE HEALTH OF YOUR INFANT? I see the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Seriously a grown man in the year 2021 doesn’t see ANYTHING wrong with exposing his newborn to second-hand smoke?”

Another replied: “Babies exposed to second-hand smoke have an increased risk of DYING of SIDS. Her husband would rather appease his parents than protect his child.

A third added: “Why on earth would your two-month-old baby need to sleep over there? Absolutely not.

“That said you should work with them to see the baby but not in a smoke-filled house. Your baby’s health is most important followed by your own health!”

Do you agree? Let us know in the comments below.

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