A MUM from Berkshire has revealed how seven miscarriages and one stillbirth made her more determined than ever to have the family she dreamt of.
Jayne Hook and husband Steve, both 42, are happily married with two sons – but the couple have suffered seven years of anguish to finally have children.
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Jayne and Steve first started trying for kids shortly after they got married.
“We weren’t even trying to get pregnant that first year,” Jayne revealed.
“It was more a case of if it happens, it happens, so when we discovered I was pregnant, we were both pleasantly surprised.”
Sadly, not long after Jayne found out she was expecting, she began to bleed and suffered a miscarriage.
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But despite their disappointment, the pair were keen to try again.
“I now knew I could fall pregnant and we both knew we now wanted a baby,” said Jayne.
“So, when within a few months I was pregnant again, I felt confident and only a little bit nervous because I thought lightning would not strike twice.”
But again, Jayne suffered from spotting just a few weeks into the pregnancy and visited the Early Pregnancy Unit in Basingstoke where it was confirmed she had miscarried.
Not long later, the couple suffered a third miscarriage after falling pregnant at Christmas 2005.
Having reached almost nine weeks, they were devastated.
“We’d got close to nine weeks into this pregnancy and this was the first time I really thought I may not be able to have children,” said Jayne.
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The couple ended up putting their family plans on hold for 18 months, due to Jayne being diagnosed with a rare condition that caused a bone growth in her jaw.
In summer 2008, after treatment, Jayne fell pregnant again, revealing people had said they were “brave to try again”.
“We weren’t brave, we were desperate,” explained the mum.
“We still couldn’t picture not having a child of our own.”
But when – 10 weeks in – the doctors could no longer find a heartbeat, Jayne admits the news of a fourth miscarriage “hit her like a train”.
“It felt more like I had lost a baby than it had before, because we’d got so much further with the pregnancy.
“I felt angry at the world, angry at everybody and very alone.”
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After another two years in which Jayne was forced to have more corrective procedures on her jaw, the couple tried again for the family they so desperately craved.
“Two years went by, then we fell pregnant for the fifth time,” said Jayne.
“But again, there was no heartbeat.”
At the fifth miscarriage, doctors ran tests on the foetus, to try and understand why Jayne could not maintain a pregnancy.
They found a rare chromosome abnormality had caused Jayne to miscarry – and also told the mum that their baby had been a girl.
“We wanted a reason, even if it meant we would learn we could never have children,” she said.
“We could not stay in that place of losing every pregnancy and not knowing why.”
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Despite being referred to the multiple miscarriage unit at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington, Jayne’s sixth pregnancy also failed, with the mum admitting she didn’t think she could carry on.
“As the woman, you feel so responsible when this happens again and again.
“I told Steven he should be with someone who can have children.
“I was very depressed and again felt very alone, until my stepdad said: ‘It’s not the end of the road, you just need more help’.”
Determined to try one more time, they enlisted the help of Oxford Fertility, where doctors combined genetic testing with IVF, to screen fertilised embryos for genetic mutations.
The IVF was successful and Jayne fell pregnant.
“I loved being pregnant and I loved having a visible bump,” she said.
“Everything was magical. The baby was fine, I was fine.
“I’d never felt so happy and we decided, when we reached 30 weeks into the pregnancy, to take a ‘babymoon’ to Tenerife.”
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But tragically, Jayne woke up one morning to find their baby – a little girl they had named Poppy – was no longer kicking.
Doctors in Tenerife confirmed the news the parents had been dreading – their baby had died in the womb due to the umbilical cord becoming knotted.
After a nightmare plane journey home, Jayne delivered her baby girl.
“Nothing can prepare you for having a stillborn baby,” she said.
“We were heartbroken and I felt responsible again. It was as if I was cursed.
“Right up to the last minute, I hoped the Spanish scan had been wrong, but it wasn’t.
“Poppy’s birth was beautiful, bizarre, funny, devastating and sad – all at the same time. And it was long. The delivery took 48 hours.
“On 2 April 2014 she came out, and because of her dark hair and long fingers I thought she looked just like me.
“We will never know what colour her eyes would have been or what her voice would have sounded like, but for the short time we had her, we loved her and felt blessed.
“Steven carried her tiny coffin into the church for her funeral and said, ‘I’ll never get to walk her down the aisle so let me do this for her’.”
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Despite the pain and heartache, the couple were determined to carry on.
“We’d come so far and been trying for so many years, we couldn’t give up now,” she explained.
“Steven and I were completely united in our grief and determination to get pregnant again, so we went straight back to Oxford Fertility after Poppy’s funeral.
“They thought we should wait, but we knew we had to try again straight away, or we would run the risk of losing our nerve and never having a baby.”
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After one failed IVF treatment, the following two procedures resulted in two healthy boys – William and Oliver.
“It was a hard pregnancy having William, because I was trying to stay positive about being pregnant still, but also grieving for the loss of Poppy,” explained Jayne.
“She showed me I could have a baby and although I was very anxious the whole time I was carrying William, I prayed to her to help us get there.
“He was delivered at 35 weeks, because I was so anxious I couldn’t go full term and when he was born, everyone in the room including the consultant, cried.”
The couple went on to have Oliver in 2017.
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“If I could I’d have all three of my children, but having the boys is wonderful,” she said.
“I wanted a baby and would have walked over hot coals backwards and had needles poked into my eyes to get one.
“Our long struggle made me appreciate how precious life is and what a gift children are.
“What we went through has made me the mum I am.
“I love, adore and spoil my sons, because I can and that means more to me than anything else in the world.”
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