Dear Coleen
I’m a woman aged 38 and I’m separated from my husband. We have two children together aged three and five who live with me.
I’m OK about the separation – it was the right thing to do for all of us and our kids seem to be coping well.
During lockdown, I got chatting to a really nice guy walking our dogs – he tends to go out early in the morning at the same time I do.
Then last week, when my kids were with their dad, I was walking alone with this guy and we ended up having sex in the woods – it was quick and very passionate, and I think we’d been building up to it for weeks.
I’ve never done anything like that before – I know it was reckless and stupid, but it was also really hot and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
The thing is, he has a girlfriend who he lives with and I knew about this before we had sex. I don’t know where he’s at with the relationship, but I like him. I know things shouldn’t have got physical, but they did and now I don’t know where to go from here.
Coleen says
Wow, talk about breaking lockdown – you’ve done it in spectacular style! I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that you’ve put your kids at risk, and he’s put his girlfriend at risk. Then when your kids visit your ex, he’s exposed to risk, as well as anyone else he comes into contact with, and so it goes on.
So, yes, it was reckless. I can only hope you haven’t caught Covid for all your sakes. Look, there’s nothing you can or should do about this until the lockdown is over – as exciting as it is, don’t go walking your dog in the woods to hook up with this guy. It’s also a bad time to make any kind of big decision.
And ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who you can’t trust to walk the dog because he might have sex in the woods with a total stranger.
You know where his relationship is with his girlfriend – he has no loyalty to her and shouldn’t be with her. He’s not honest with himself or her.
Also, you’re only separated from your husband, you’re not divorced and also have two kids to think about – why put yourself into this situation?
This has shown you that there are guys out there who you can be attracted to, but I think this friendship has just added excitement to a tough, weird situation that we’re all in. But please think twice about being reckless again – it’s not fair to the other people in both your lives.
