How to get teens to fly the nest and prepare them for the real world- from doing laundry to learning about failure

RECORD numbers of young adults in their twenties and thirties are still living at home, official figures reveal.

In two decades there has been a 46 per cent rise in the number of 20 to 34-year-olds living with their parents – and now 3.5million people do, says the Office For National Statistics.

More young adults in their twenties and thirties are still living at home than everCredit: Getty

In her book How To Grow a Grown Up, Dr Dominique Thompson reveals how you can prepare your child for independence

So what can mums and dads do to prepare their children for independence?

Dr Dominique Thompson who co-wrote parenting book How To Grow A Grown Up, says: “The whole point of being a parent is to teach your children to be able to leave home once they finish school and make their way in the world without the constant support of Mum and Dad.

“Being able to survive outside the nest is the main aim of growing up. Yet growing up today is very different from when today’s parents were growing up.”

Here Dominique, who was a GP for 20 years, gives her top tips to help your child take the next step off your sofa and out into the world.

Help them, but don’t do it for them

Dominique says by the time your teen is in Sixth Form, they should be able to go to their own GP or dentist appointmentsCredit: Alamy

MAKE sure your teenager can make and go to their own GP or dentist appointments by the time they are in Sixth Form.

If they are having problems with friends or even teachers, try to help them work out what they need to do to sort things, but don’t rush straight in to fix problems for them.

You might want to speak to the teacher, but you might actually help your child more by talking through with them how they want to handle things.

Doing this will help them deal with difficult colleagues and bosses in later life, too.

Teach everyday life skills

Show your kids how to do basic tasks like cooking, cleaning and laundry so they won't be overwhelmed when they move out — Show your kids how to do basic tasks like cooking, cleaning and laundry so they won’t be overwhelmed when they move outCredit: Shutterstock

SHOW them how to cook basic healthy meals, to do their washing, how to get around by public transport, or to drive, and encourage them to earn their own money.

Having a weekend job, or babysitting, will build their self-esteem and confidence, as well as teach them about the value of money and maybe even how to save it.

If they are going to open days or interviews, suggest they go on their own or with a friend, not with you, so that they explore, make decisions or get that job independently.

Help them to take positive risks

Teach them that taking risks can be a good thing and encourage them to do things like trying new sports, taking a gap year or meeting new peopleCredit: Getty

TEENS are known for taking risks, but engaging in “good” risks is important in life.

They know that drugs and alcohol can land them in trouble, but do they know that trying new sports, taking a gap year, meeting new people, or getting out of their comfort zone can lead to top opportunities?

They should say “yes” to the chance to do something new.

Tell them no one is perfect

Teens face a lot of pressure on social media to be perfect so make sure they know that it is okay to get things wrongCredit: Getty

NOTHING worries the teenagers of today more than failure. They are terrified of letting people down and getting things wrong.

You can help them to learn that things will go wrong in life and they need to bounce back and cope with that when it happens.

They need to know that Mum and Dad are OK with them not being perfect. They already have too much pressure from social media to be their “best self” all of the time.

They need to be able to relax and be themselves with you. This will build their confidence.

Listen and don’t interrupt

It is important to be there for your child so they know they can always talk to you about the important things in lifeCredit: Getty –

MAKE sure your teenager knows that they can talk to you about the important things in life.

That you won’t overreact and that you will listen without interrupting. Talk together when in the car or walking the dog as it’s easier for them than face-to-face.

Make sure they know they can come to you with anything if they’re worried, and that they won’t be letting you down.

You need to be their safe place when they feel stressed, so they don’t feel trapped or take potentially tragic action when the outside world gets too much.

Then when they leave home they will know you are still there for them.

Encourage their friendships

Dominique says learning to get on with others is a life skill so having different friendship groups is sensibleCredit: Getty

FRIENDS are what keep us sane in life, and having more than one group of pals at school, or in a sports or a social club, can make sure teenagers have somewhere to fall back if things go bad with one crowd.

Learning to get on with others is a life skill, as is negotiating and compromising when you disagree. Having different friendship groups is sensible and will give them support when they leave home.

How To Grow A Grown Up – Prepare Your Teen For The Real World, by Dr Dominique Thompson & Fabienne Vailes, £12.99, Penguin Random House is out now.

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