How do you introduce sex toys into your relationship?

No matter how much you love your partner, relationship sex does sometimes hit plateau.

You’ve got a routine, you’re into the groove, the fireworks that came from the newness of your partner’s body have gone.

According to a survey of over 9,000 people, done by sex toy retailer Lelo, 39% of people say that they would describe their sex lives as ‘regular’ and 37% claim that there is room for improvement.

All of this is totally normal. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

There are lots of things you can do to improve your sex life. Role play, sex in a different location, a romantic mini break, dressing up for each other, exchanging sexual fantasies, talking dirty, or using toys.

Lots of couples are nervous about bringing toys into the bedroom. Some women worry that they’re going to undermine their partner’s normal sized penis by including a massive silicon phallus. Some men worry that a vibrator will achieve things that they themselves are unable to.

But, if you can get past any anxiety and treat toys with an open mind, the rewards can be intense.

Most women can’t reach orgasm through penetration alone, so including a bullet vibrator during penetrative sex can promote mutual orgasms, and enable to you to climax at the same time (if that’s something which is important to you).

Similarly many women find sex more enjoyable if it includes anal stimulation, and many men also like to experience having their prostates included in sex. All of which is perfectly healthy, normal and possible when you use toys.

Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, who works as LELO’s sex expert commented: ‘The focus on introducing a sex toy to a couple’s relationship should be that it’s a positive.

‘It’s not lacking on one partner it’s a focus on bringing them together in a different way.

‘One of the many famous scenes from Sex In The City is Charlotte being unable to bring herself to leave the house because of getting so hooked on her Rampant Rabbit, and that just emphasises the fear that so many people have which is that a toy can do things they can’t.

‘This just isn’t the case – a toy and a person are of course offering different experiences, but they can also be used together to bring in something new. Routine is a passion killer and mixing things up in small ways such as introducing a sex toy can bring different sensations to the experience providing excitement and pleasure. The approach is also key, discuss it as a couple before, don’t spring it on a partner or they will feel caught off guard.

‘Look at a website together and talk about the things you like and do not like the look of – making choosing the sex toy a shared experience.’