*This article was written in partnership with Just Like Us, the LGBT+ young people’s charity.*
As a bisexual woman, I’ve heard my fair share of biphobic tropes. This Pride month, here are just a few stereotypes that you can smash to become a better ally.
1. Bisexual people are “promiscuous”
I’ve actually been told that because bisexual people can be attracted to more than one gender, we must be attracted to everyone, apparently. Yes, you read that right. Every. Single. Person.
This false belief is very damaging – it’s rooted in the idea that bi people won’t reject anyone’s sexual advances. Of course this is not true and, in reality, bisexual are significantly more likely to be survivors of sexual harassment, as Just Like Us’ research found.
In fact, being attracted to people of more than one gender doesn’t necessarily mean we are attracted to more people than a straight, gay or lesbian person would be. Plus, attraction can depend on so many different factors – gender expression might just be one of them.
I’ve also been told that, because we’re apparently attracted to more people, we must be ‘more likely to cheat on our partners’. This false narrative also contributes to the stereotype that bi people are greedy by nature. This, of course, is not true and can make us feel awful, as if being bisexual is something to be ashamed of (which it’s not, of course).
As a bisexual woman, I’ve been fetishised and slut-shamed, simply for choosing to label myself as bi and exist as my authentic self. I have also been asked about intimate details very casually by complete strangers. I understand people may be curious or have questions, but when bisexual people are thought of as ‘different’ or ‘interesting’, we may end up feeling othered. And asking strangers such personal questions is rarely a good idea.
2. Bisexual people are “just pretending”
Despite bisexuality having been around as a concept for a pretty long time, some people still think we don’t even exist. Someone even explained to me that I couldn’t possibly be bisexual, regardless of the fact I proudly identify as bi.
I’ve been told that maybe I’m just trying to ‘catch a boy’s attention’, ‘play hard to get’, or ‘seem more interesting.’ I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve heard ‘you’ll pick a side, eventually.’ Hearing this made me feel invalidated. In the past, before I was confident in my sexuality, I’ve even doubted myself and my feelings when other people told me we aren’t real. Imagine that!
