The finest things in life are often wasted on kids – and no one proves that theory better than seven-year-old Pearl Simson.
She’s decided that hummus is trash and that she hates sourdough, meaning that her future as a hipster or functional vegan is well and truly scuppered.
Her dad Pete made her a delicious hummus sandwich to take to school this week.
When she returned home, however, he found the sarnie squished up in her lunchbox alongside a note explaining why she hadn’t touched her lunch.
Addressed to ‘DAD’, it read: ‘I NOT Etting my sandwich because I hate hummas’.
Pete, from Bristol, said that he’d been left ‘amused and horrified’ by the turn of events.
‘Clearly she wasn’t a fan of the sandwich I made her.
‘I asked her if she liked her packed lunch and she told me there was a note in the lunchbox. I thought it might be a thank you or something but as soon as I saw the dishevelled sarnie in there, I knew something was amiss.
‘The dark brown pencil it was written with should have been a clue – it was a foreboding colour.’
He went onto say that he was touched by the effort she’d gone to to reject the sandwich but was mortified at the idea of her being ‘Hank Marvin’ (starvin’, to the uninitiated).
And Pearl’s principals have split the family in general.
‘To her mother, it’s a sign of a strong woman, but to me it’s plain insolence.
‘I should add my own mother made the worst sandwiches on crumbly bread when I was a kid, but I made damn sure I ate them.’
We don’t know what kinds of fillings Pete had to endure as a kid but seeing as many of us had to endure years of pongy tuna mayo, we’re sure that most of us would have killed for a pot of hummus.
Kids these days really don’t know they’re born.
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