Yet to catch up with Fleabag? Social media is best avoided.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge has brought out the exhibitionist in us all — enjoying a series has become a carefully choreographed, immersive undertaking played out in public, with a trail of spoilers.
But which streaming tribe are you in?
1. The streaming signaller
This person would never dream of simply watching a programme. First they set the scene — “about to watch Fleabag no spoilers please” — followed by a gif.
During the show they tweet their hot takes because what’s the point of appreciating good drama if no one knows about it?
Then they take to Instagram and WhatsApp friends about it (so that they can subsequently Instagram screenshots of their conversations and allow everyone access to their witty repartee).
At their best, streaming signallers make up a community to enjoy shows with and find tips for what to watch next. At their worst they can make you feel dim — what if you just watched Fleabag and found it funny without thinking about its parallels with Greek tragedy?
On that note, you are not a bad feminist for just appreciating the Hot Priest storyline for the engaging drama it was — you don’t need to extrapolate wider lessons about the whole of mankind from his behaviour.
The streaming signallers post essays on Instagram explaining why a show is good, with the implication being that they have a certain ownership of it. You’d think they wrote it for all this fuss. Remember, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who actually did write Fleabag, only got Instagram this year.
It’s not just TV. They also post seemingly casual shots of their kitchen tables with all their lovely new books on that they can’t wait to devour. Don’t ask them about the plots — they’ve been so busy posting social signifiers that they forgot to make time to actually read.
2. Ahead of the stream
Halfway through a conversation about Killing Eve you’ll realise this person is referring to the second series while you are only on the first.
It doesn’t matter that it hasn’t started yet in the UK — they’re such people of the world and so well connected that the small matter of the official release date won’t stop them being ahead of the curve.
Secretly, though, they are lonely — they have to face plot twists alone, and by the time the rest of us have caught up they will have forgotten the finer details.
They are victims of their own success.
3. The secret streamer
They know what they should watch, they are literate enough in Fleabag’s sex life to join in conversations about it. But once they are alone, safe on the sofa, all they want to see is Grey’s Anatomy.
They are just as committed as all those making a noise about the acronyms in Line of Duty but the difference is that they obsess in private (then panic that someone will notice they follow all the stars of Buffy on Instagram).
Bingeing is a hazard of the secret streamer’s identity — if no one knows they are watching SAS: Who Dares Wins, what does it matter if they pack a whole series into one night?
The enjoyment is tainted because there is an inverse ratio at work: the later they stay up admiring Ant Middleton, the less capable they will be of holding a conversation the next day.
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