A soon-to-be mum is planning to ban her own husband from the birth of their first child over his ‘intensely stressful’ behaviour in the lead up to her due date.
After falling pregnant, the woman says the couple saw a marriage counselor because she knew it could be a ‘really sensitive issue’ for her partner, whose own mum died in childbirth with him.
Although he has also been seeing a therapist on his own, she says he and his father, who is a ‘hugely active part of our lives’, have both become ‘completely convinced that she’s going to die during childbirth’.
It began when her husband asked her to ensure her life insurance was up to date and to meet with a lawyer to draft a will, which she felt was ‘intense’ but agreed if it made him feel better.
When he asked her to go through all of her possessions to decide what she wanted to save for the baby and what she wanted to be returned to her family in the event of her death, she absolutely refused and said the request was too morbid.
Her father-in-law hit out at her for making thing ‘difficult’ for his son in the event that he will be a grieving widower with a newborn to look after.
“I’ve had a completely complication-free pregnancy and have NO REASON to think I will die screaming in the coming weeks,” she said.
“When I tell my husband this, he calls me paranoid, but I feel like my father-in-law WANTS me to die; his whole life identity for the past 35 years has been ‘amazing single dad’ and it seems like he’s looking forward to being able to guide my husband through what he went through.”
She adds that she doesn’t want her husband’s father in the delivery room after he also told her that he’s putting his foot down about ‘not allowing’ her to have an epidural or gas.
“My husband, in addition to backing his dad on everything, acts like my due date is my death date, and has completely pulled away from me,” she wrote on Reddit.
“Every minute with him is morbid, stressful, and a reminder that our marriage seems to be crumbling. No matter how many times I tell him his behavior makes me stressed and upset, it’s just getting worse, and I do NOT want it around me while I’m concentrating on giving birth.”
After asking if she was wrong to have run out of patience with his concerns to the point she was considering banning him from being in the room during the birth, she received huge support from others.
One wrote: “This is your body, your birth, you decide. If they cant be supportive, it’s on them and don’t feel guilty for putting you and baby first.
“I hope you have someone else in your life you can count on when the time comes.”
A second said: “It’s time to be frank. Tell him you want to go to his next therapy appointment. Then you need to explain to the therapist what has been going on, and that you are seriously considering banning your husband from the delivery room.”