From the moment that pregnancy test shows up positive, life suddenly becomes all about questions.
Is this symptom normal? What should I pack in my hospital bag? Does childbirth really hurt as much as everyone says?
This is where your doctor or midwife come in, experienced professionals who can calmly steer you through this often confusing time.
And you want them to be honest, right? Honesty is good. Honesty will prepare you.
Now, one extremely funny obstetrician-gynecologist has taken that honesty and ran with it.
(Image: Westend61)
In a painfully honest – but no less funny – Reddit thread , the OB-GYN gives you the real answers to all the questions you have.
Q1. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife being to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Q2: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q3: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children are enough.
Q4: I’m two months pregnant now, when will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q5: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q6: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q7: My wife is 5 months pregnant and is so moody that she is borderline irrational.
A: So, what is your question?
Q8: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
(Image: Getty Images)
A: Not unless the word “alimony” [spousal maintenance] means anything to you.
Q9: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.
Q10: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.
