Disgraced ex-MP Fiona Onasanya has written a book in which she reveals how she coped with being in prison after she was found guilty of perverting the course of justice, to avoid being charged for speeding.
After serving less than one month of a three-month sentence, she became the first MP to be removed by constituents after a successful recall petition.
She has now rebranded herself as a motivational speaker, and has released a 122 page memoir (titled Snakes & Adders: A Set Up for the Step Up) telling her side of the story.
Ms Onasanya, who was a solicitor before entering politics, gives a candid account of her life inside.
She confesses to a police officer that she takes spice “all the time” because she naively thinks they’re referring to seasoning rather than the drug.
When she asks for almond milk with her prison breakfast cereal the one-time MP gets told “this ain’t Costa”.
While she assumes prisoners are referring to security company G4S when they’re referring to inmates who are “gay for the stay”.
This is the relevant passage:
I think it was over lunch when I was asked what I thought about G4S. “Well I think public and private should be kept separate, intermingling the two sectors causes profit to take precedence over people I feel.”
The lady looked at me absolutely baffled, “What are you on about?” “G4S” I reply, “like Serco and Sodexo, I know it says HMP but the prisons are run by private companies.” A roar of laughter erupted; “Nah babes, G4S is Gay 4 the Stay.” If I could have gone red, I’m sure I would have! “Ohhh, No I’m not” “So you’re strictly?” Now given my G4S blunder I didn’t want to make any assumptions about what “strictly” mean. “What’s strictly as the only strictly I have heard of is the dancing competition” “Strictly dickly” came the reply.
Her stories show the light-hearted side of prison including seeing a naked inmate dancing outside the shower room to annoy the guards, and having to eat a tin of spaghetti hoops for a meal.
The book also reveals some of her strange habits including regularly crunching a glass full of ice cubes.
Fiona describes sending her application to become Labour’s candidate for mayor of the combined authority from a bar, “whilst waiting for my mandatory cup of ice to crunch alongside my drink”.
On three separate occasions in the book, she brings up her habit of r ordering cups of ice so she can crunch them.
We also learn that after leaving prison she asked her mum to take her somewhere she can get a cup of ice showing what she had clearly missed while inside.
