Dear Coleen
I’m a 28-year-old man and have been with my girlfriend for six months and things are good.
My problem is, I can’t properly relax about our relationship because I think she’ll leave all the time.
She’s drop-dead gorgeous and gets a lot of attention, and my mates have told me many times I’m punching above my weight.
I’m no Greek god, but I’m not offensive to look at either and I’m told I’ve got a great sense of humour and can be very charming.
However, I’ve found myself starting to worry about other men paying my girlfriend attention when she goes out without me, and I’m worried I’m starting to get a bit needy and possessive.
I don’t like feeling like this and I haven’t experienced this in previous relationships, but I really like this woman and don’t want anything to ruin it.
I asked my sister for advice and all she said was “Get a grip!” which wasn’t that helpful.
How do I stop these negative thoughts so I can just enjoy being with her?
Coleen says
Well, I do think you need to get a grip because if she starts to feel suffocated that’s what will drive her away.
Other people think you’re funny and charming, so you need to start believing in yourself.
There must be plenty of reasons why she’s chosen to be with you – looks aside, I’d say sense of humour is probably one of them because I love a guy who can make me laugh.
Confidence is so attractive, too, so don’t be starstruck by your girlfriend and be grateful she’s shone her light on you – start believing you’re a great guy.
Also, you have to accept you don’t know what the future holds and if this relationship will last, but don’t sabotage it before it’s had a chance to flourish.
And, take it from someone who’s been on the raw end of a break-up many times, you get over it and realise in time it wasn’t right.
As long as you know that, you can enjoy the relationship and stop worrying.
It’s wonderful you see such great qualities in your girlfriend, but you have them, too.
