Dear Coleen

I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years and we live together.

The past couple of years have been hard, though.

I had a few bad things happen one after the other – I lost my job, my parents broke up and was told I had virtually no chance of having a baby naturally even though I’m only 32.

As a result, I’ve been depressed, but with therapy I’ve come through it and I’m in a much better place than I was.

My boyfriend has been supportive and patient through it all, but last week he admitted he was unhappy and confused about our relationship and needed a break to think things over.

I was so shocked, especially because I’m so much better now and life has almost returned to normal.

This has obviously been a massive blow for me and I’m worried it will set me back and I’ll end up struggling.

I don’t want to lose my boyfriend – he means everything to me and I know we can have a good future together.

He’s at his dad’s at the moment, but we’re in touch.

What should I do?

“I’ve been depressed, but with therapy I’ve come through it and I’m in a much better place than I was”

Coleen says

First of all, well done on seeking help and working things through.

You’ve had some hard knocks over the past two years, but you’ve survived, and although it might not feel like it now, you’ll learn from those experiences, and you’ll become a stronger person.

I think it’s important to carry on with your therapy if you can so you have a safe space for your worries. 

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As for your boyfriend, I think you have to give him the break he’s asked for.

He’s obviously working through some stuff and just because you’re feeling better doesn’t mean he is.

Your depression will have had an impact on him. Perhaps he’s dealing with that now.

You’re still in touch which is good.

It could be worth asking if he’d agree to therapy where you can both open up.

I imagine he’s kept feelings bottled up because he didn’t want to set you back. 

It may help bring you together or it could make you realise the relationship has run its course.

For more support on mental health issues, visit Mind . Good luck.





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