Lifestyle

Dear Coleen: I want more than lovely holidays and great sex


Dear Coleen

My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over two years and when we first got together we were so close and shared everything with each other. It felt like we were soulmates and destined to be together for ever.

However, over the past few months things have changed. He’s kind of shut off from me, apart from when it comes to sex, which he’s still into as much as he ever was.

The sex is good, but I need more from him.

I find myself switching off from him more and more, and I confide in friends or my mum now instead of him – surely that’s not right?

On paper we’re the dream couple –recently he took me to Florida for my 30th birthday and our Insta accounts are full of beautiful romantic shots of us on the beach.

But inside I just feel empty – like there’s no connection between us any more.

I love him, but I want more from a relationship than nice holidays and good sex. I want a partner who I know really cares about me. What do you think is going on and what should I do?


 

Coleen says

Yes, you’ll miss him when he’s travelling, but it’s not like he’s had to relocate abroad for work. It sounds as if you’re just feeling a bit insecure and it might be worth thinking about why that is.

Are you worried about him cheating when he’s away? Or are you worried about growing apart? I think as long as you address your fears and talk them through, that’s the way forward.

My job has always taken me away from my family and still does, and it is tough sometimes. It was particularly hard when my kids were younger.

But when I come home, I really appreciate the time I do get to spend with them and I figure that part of the reason I’ve always worked so hard is to provide a nice and secure life for them.

I’m sure your boyfriend will be thinking about these things, too. What he’s doing will benefit both of you if you can support it.

Try it out and see how it goes. It will soon become apparent if the cost to your relationship is too great.





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