Dad sends in-laws rules for visiting baby, including no under 18s & perfume ban – but it doesn’t go down well

THERE’S nothing quite like the arrival of a new baby to make you feel a little overwhelmed, stressed and (let’s be honest) downright irritable.

But while most parents simply choose to grin and bear the countless visitors calling at their door in the days after the birth, one dad has taken matters to all new extremes by writing his in-laws a strict list of rules for their visits.

The new parents banned any family from visiting their son on their first day in hospitalCredit: Getty – Contributor

And needless to say, it did NOT go down well.

Sharing his dilemma on Reddit’s “Am I the A*****” forum, the new dad explained how neither his or his wife’s parents are “super clear on the whole ‘boundaries’ deal when it comes to newborns.”

He explained: “My parents are very old-fashioned and think that letting your kid eat dirt is better than any vaccine and my wife’s just have a tendency to be very me-me-me.”

After banning both sets of parents from seeing their grandchild in hospital on the first day, the dad then emailed them all a list of rules for their visit the following day.

The dad implemented a strict ban on children visiting his sonCredit: Reddit

He wrote: “I asked that nobody sick come to visit and no children under 18, since schools are a breeding ground for viruses.”

Describing his mother as a “heavy perfume user”, the man then asked all visitors to avoid fragrances.

He added: “There were some other things I threw in, asking people to let me know what time they’d like to come, keep it between 9-5, stay for an hour or less, no gifts since it’ll be a hassle to bring home and try to keep the visits to 3-4 people at a time.”

Admitting that it felt “a little overbearing”, the man’s wife also “read it over and said it sounded fine”.

Naturally, the email warranted a few jokes about visitors providing their social security numbers – but everyone replied with their timings for the day, except for both sets of in-laws.

I sent an email out to everyone who said they wanted to come visit. I asked that nobody sick come to visit, and no children under 18, since schools are a breeding ground for viruses.

Unsurprisingly, the man’s parents showed up without any warning the next day – cutting his aunt’s time short – and immediately undid the baby’s swaddle.

On top of this, the man wrote: “An hour later, my parents are still there and my in-laws show up, their grandson in tow.

“My wife tells them that they can’t bring him in. Their grandson starts to cry and my mother-in-law starts to scold us for forbidding children, so my father pipes up saying that we’re being too coddling.”

This then resulted in his own mother saying they’d been “very rude and cold” and that she shouldn’t have to “RSVP” to her own grandson’s birth.

“She calls me impolite for sending out a “demanding” email like I did and insists that if I regulate my son as strictly as I did his visitings, he’ll grow up resenting my wife and I,” he added.

To make matters worse, the man’s wife has “changed her tune about the whole thing and thinks I was being too combative.”

Users argued that he was in the right - but that the email was a little excessive — Users argued that he was in the right – but that the email was a little excessiveCredit: Reddit

The dilemma has sparked fierce debate in the comments – with many arguing that the new dad should stand his ground.

One replied: “Your kid, your rules. You and your wife need to have a serious conversation about expectations in dealing with family and how best to project a united front while dealing with them.”

Another added: ” Having a child is a massive deal. And as a new parent you are likely to be more tired and have less patience.

“Also having 12 people around a baby is a lot you don’t want to overwhelm the mother or the baby. I think you’ve been reasonable.”

However, a third replied: “A lot of the things you wrote I agree with, but no children? Mate, you are in for a nasty shock the first day you take your baby anywhere open to the public.”