Lifestyle

Can I get addicted to my vibrator?


(Picture: AFP/Getty Images)

It’s human nature to look at a good thing and start questioning whether it might be too good to be true.

Which is why some women experience concern that their vibrator could be addictive.

It’s not a stupid question. An experience which is pleasurable, free of charge and not unhealthy is pretty much as good as it gets. Who could blame you if you became addicted to masturbating?

In order to work out whether vibrators are potentially addictive we spoke to Dr Becky Spellman, resident sexpert for We Vibe.

Are vibrators addictive in and of themselves?

‘The short answer is no. Vibrators can be so effective in helping women to achieve orgasm that women frequently enjoy using them often—and there’s nothing wrong with that! Taking a healthy pleasure in sexual activity of any sort is not the same as addiction.

‘The unfounded rumour about vibrators being addictive may originate in some men’s anxiety that women might start to prefer their vibrator to having sex with them, or to the deep-rooted anxieties some men have in relation to their sexual performance. We all need to remember that the great thing about sexual pleasure is that it doesn’t run out; when there’s time to relax and enjoy some intimate time—with a vibrator, a partner, or both—there’s always more pleasure to be had.’

What should you do if you’re struggling to enjoy sex without a vibrator?

‘The first step is to talk to your partner in a safe and non-confrontational way. If sex between the two of you is not all you would like it to be, it’s not the vibrator’s fault. Nine times out of ten, unsatisfying sex results from inadequate communication.

‘Nobody is psychic, so you need to tell one another what you like; what turns you on, and what gets you off. Rather than seeing the vibrator as an adversary or an alternative to unsatisfying sex, it often makes more sense to integrate some play with the vibrator into your love-making.

‘Of course, the right moment to introduce this idea is not when you are already naked together but in the context of a sensitive conversation.

‘Some men will hear, “I’d like to use my vibrator when we make love,” and interpret it as a rejection of them, their body, and their love-making skills.

‘Be careful to present your suggestion as a fun, sexy idea that the two of you can enjoy together, and as something that will make your love-making even better!’

Will using a vibrator make it harder to orgasm from oral or digital sex?

‘If you find it easy to orgasm from oral sex or from being touched, your vibrator will not hamper this pleasure in any way.

‘Many couples find that oral sex is an activity that makes them feel especially close, and for many women, this is one of the most reliable routes to an orgasm.

‘It’s important to see the vibrator as just another exciting option from a vast menu of sexual possibilities and as a toy that can be integrated into your love-making sessions that won’t have any impact on the activities you already love.’

Like anything else in life, if you’re being compulsive about your vibrator then it’s time to put it in the drawer and focus on something else.

But there is no chemically addictive aspect to a vibrator, and using one regularly is not going to damage your body. So have at it!

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