Caitlyn Jenner opened up about the moment she contemplated suicide, before transitioning.
The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star announced her transition in 2015, in a stunning Vanity Fair photoshoot and front cover.
But the 70-year-old revealed there was a moment before this that she thought of taking her own life, explaining she could ‘see’ how people reached that point.
Speaking at An Audience With Caitlyn Jenner at Brighton Dome – which was hosted by I’m A Celebrity campmate Roman Kemp – the Olympian recalled her lowest moment, after finding out that pictures had been obtained by the media which would turn her life upside down.
‘For me, it wasn’t just about me transitioning, it was about how it was going to affect my family. That was the thing I was really worried about,’ she told the crowd. ‘After I talked to all 10 [of my] children – and they were okay, they were fine – the last person I had to talk to was my pastor.
‘I went to bed that night, and the next day I was out walking through this field, because the night before I had actually thought about suicide.
‘I knew a tabloid picture was coming out that they had [obtained], and they were going to release, and it wasn’t a good picture. I thought, as soon as it happens [the photo is released], all hell is going to break loose.
‘I would have four or five paparazzi cars following me everywhere I went, it was a bad time. And I thought about the easy way… I could see why people got to that point in life, where the easy way is just going in the other room, you’ve got a gun, just make it quiet and don’t deal with all these issues.’
She continued: ‘The next day, I was walking through this field and I was thinking of all my thoughts from the night before, and about my faith, God, and what happens when I get to the pearly gates.
‘I just got to the point where [I thought], “You know what? Even if you go through this and it doesn’t work out, what an opportunity at the age of 65, to live life authentically and for yourself. At this point, by 2015, there were other trans women who had gone before me, who were great.
‘And I thought maybe I should add my voice to this conversation, and maybe we can make a difference here.
‘I decided that if the worst that happens is that I go through this and I live my life in peace, that would be the worst thing, or the best thing. What a great opportunity to make a difference in your life, and bring this issue forward.’
Caitlyn has previously opened up about the lengths she had to go to in order to maintain her privacy during her transition.
During her stint in the jungle, the Olympian revealed she put up six-foot walls around her home in a bid to prevent the news from coming out.
At one point, she feared going into her own garden in case a picture was leaked before she was ready.
‘This was before I came out because I couldn’t go out the front door to my pool because I thought someone would get a picture,’ she told her fellow campmates.
‘The day Vanity Fair came out, the wall came down.’
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