Britney Spears has sent a message to fans explaining why she did not share the trauma over her conservatorship sooner.
In her first public statement since her explosive courtroom testimony on Wednesday (24 June), the pop star said she “pretended like everything was ok” because “I was embarrassed to share what happened to me”.
Spears asked a judge to end the conservatorship that controls her life and career, describing it as “abusive”.
She also revealed the court-ordered arrangement requires her to use a birth control device and prevents her from marrying boyfriend Sam Asghari.
She called on the judge to end it without the need for further medical assessment and fiercely criticised her father, Jamie, who has overseen much of her life for the last 13 years.
On Instagram, Spears shared a quote about the importance of fairy tales and said her upbeat social media posts had given her millions of fans the wrong impression about her life.
She wrote: “I just want to tell you guys a little secret… I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way I’ve posted… my life seems to look and be pretty amazing… I think that’s what we all strive for!!!!
“That was one of my mother’s best traits… no matter how s****y a day was when I was younger … for the sake of me and my siblings she always pretended like everything was ok.”
She added: “I’m bringing this to people’s attention because I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL … and if you have read anything about me in the news this week… you obviously really know now it’s not!!!”
Spears apologised to fans for putting on a brave face for two years, adding: “I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me… but honestly who doesn’t want to capture there [sic] Instagram in a fun light!!!”
She said that putting on a positive spin on social media had “actually helped”.
“So I decided to post this quote today because by golly if you’re going through hell… I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked … so I’ve decided to start reading more fairy tales,” she said.
Her boyfriend, 27-year-old personal trainer Sam Ashgari, also shared a video on Instagram showing the couple on what appeared to be a private plane.
After Spears’s testimony, Judge Brenda Penny told her that she will have to submit a petition officially requesting the termination of the conservatorship.
The terms of conservatorships in California state that a court-appointed investigator must speak with Spears, who will have to “demonstrate that it’s no longer necessary”. This investigator will also speak to her parents as well as the company that manages her business affairs before providing findings to the judge, who will make the final decision.
No dates have been set for this process but another hearing regarding the estate’s accounting documents is scheduled for 14 July.
According to Los Angeles-based family lawyer Christopher Melcher: “Once a person is under a conservatorship it’s difficult to get out of it because the court does not want to remove those protections only to have the conservatee taken advantage of.”
