A woman has called out her friend for inviting her to her bridal shower but not to her wedding.
The woman was astounded after she had blindly assumed that she would get a wedding invite – having known the bride since school and being roommates throughout college.
She says the pair have always been close friends, so when she received a message saying she wasn’t going to be getting an invite to the big day – she was livid.
‘I got invited to the bridal shower/bachelorette party combo recently and realized that I’d not ever received a “save the date” or wedding invitation, even though the wedding was in 6 weeks,’ wrote the jilted friend in a Reddit post.
‘I kind of thought it was weird, and didn’t want to make anything awkward, so I just kind of put it to the side for a couple of days.
‘Before I could decide what to do, the bride sent me a text. I deleted it after in anger but here’s the gist:
“’Hey girly, I know this is awkward but I wanted to reach out and let you know why you haven’t received a wedding invitation yet.
‘”The thing is, [Fiancé] and I both have huge families and we are only inviting members of the wedding party to the wedding.
‘”I would really love it if you could make it to the bridal shower/bachelorette party though! We haven’t seen each other in forever.”
‘I was kind of shocked at the absolute gall. I admit I’m a very reactive person and couldn’t stop myself from being a little bitchy in return:
‘“[Friend], I have always cared deeply for you but this is not only the rudest message I’ve ever received, it’s also shockingly tacky. I won’t be able to attend the party, I’m sorry. Lol.”’
She admitted that adding ‘lol’ to the end of her message was ‘especially bitchy’, but she was just so incensed at being left out of the wedding, particularly after already buying her a gift at the bridal shower.
But now she’s not sure if she took things too far – and other friends have messaged her to say that she needs to say sorry to the bride for her outburst.
‘The MOH (our other very close childhood friend) reached out to let me know that the bride was extremely hurt, and suggested I apologize,’ she explained.
‘She acknowledged that the whole situation was awkward, but gave the typical “it’s her wedding, she’s under a lot of stress, she’s trying to do the right thing…”
‘I don’t care if she didn’t have room for me at the wedding, I think the text would have been sweet (but totally unnecessary) if it was just her saying “sorry we couldn’t fit everyone” and I would have completely understood.
‘It’s the shower/bachelorette invitation that feels like a slap in the face.’
She felt that her anger was especially justified because she was the only person from the bridal shower not to be invited to the wedding.
In the comments loads of people were on the friend’s side and agreed that the bride was being out of order.
‘F*** her, why is basic decency not needed when someone is a bride?’ asked one.
‘She owes YOU an apology. Although if you want to do her a BIG favor, send her a book on wedding etiquette. Because you’re not the first one she’s insulted and I am sure you won’t be the last,’ said another.
‘If she’s inviting 200 people, what are 1-2 more. Seriously, it’s a drop in the bucket,’ added someone else.
‘It is also flat out rude, if you want to get Miss Manners about it, to invite people to gift-giving events… if you don’t plan on including them to the ceremony/celebration.’
Luckily, this story has a positive resolution. All it took was a little bit of open communication.
‘I called the bride and we talked,’ explained the friend in an update on her original post.
‘I apologized for being bitchy and explained how her text made me feel.
‘I said I understood the stress she must be under, but it felt rude of her to ask me to pre-wedding events (where gifts are expected) if I wasn’t invited to the weddings. Especially if I was the only one.
‘She interrupted me at one point to insist that she didn’t want/expect gifts from me.
‘MOH and some mutual friends let her know how tacky it is to invite someone to a bachelorette/bridal shower but not the ceremony.
‘She admitted it was a huge misstep on her part, but that she really just wanted me there in some way. She put off telling me because she didn’t want to ruin our friendship or hurt me.
‘She did a rude thing (with good intentions) that hurt my feelings and then I reacted poorly out of anger. We just needed a little communication.
‘Anyway, all’s well that ends well. I’m going to both parties and bringing small gifts, even if I don’t need to.
‘Gonna have fun and celebrate my friend and spread the love and accept things for what they are. “We can control how we respond to things we can’t control”.’
Sometimes a simple phone call can really go a long way.
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