Politics

Brian Reade: Let's face it, Britain's a joke with Trump's mini-me at the helm


You may have seen an app that lets you know how you’ll look when you’re much older.

The results are depressing for you but hilarious for everyone else who can bask in the humiliation of you turning into a sad, decaying caricature of ­yourself.

Which, coincidentally, is how most foreigners are looking at Britain now, laughing and wondering how we got to look this bad.

Danish broadsheet Politiken summed up the world media’s reaction to this week’s events with the words: “That a clown like Boris Johnson is Prime Minister shows just how low the country has fallen.”

I know my ageing photo is accurate as I see it in the mirror whenever I’ve got a hangover.

But if an app had been able to show me, even four years ago, how this country would look on July 27, 2019, I’d have believed it was a parody account.

Boris told anti-Brexit Brits to stop being ‘gloomsters’

 

If one scene summed up Wednesday, it came on Sky News as David Mellor, looking like a druid on acid, tore into David Cameron for making us commit mass hari- kiri, the breaking news that Dominic Raab, a man who didn’t know that Dover did a lot of trade with Europe, was the new Foreign Secretary rolled across the screen, and the Sky anchorman motioned angrily that he couldn’t hear himself speak because a protestor below was playing the theme tune from children’s TV show Vision On – on a xylophone.

And all the while the words “Boris Johnson confirmed Prime Minister” screamed from the bottom of the screen while a countdown clock at the top warned us it was 99 days until the Brexit deadline.

It was standard behaviour on a day you would only have thought credible a few years back had you been told the long-term effects of mad cow disease had kicked in.

A minority grouping of a minority government delivering a proven liar as PM who refuses to say how many kids he’s sired.

A delusional chancer whose first words in No10 broke his pact with the Queen by passing on a private conversation.

A self-styled Man Of The People who brought every hard-right, elitist ­fruitcake who’s ever agreed with him into a Cabinet, 64% of whom were privately educated.

The appointing as Chief of Staff Dominic Cummings, a fanatical black propagandist known as “the psychopath” who was found in contempt of Parliament following the last time he worked with Johnson to leave the EU.

Handing the job of Education ­Secretary to a weirdo who was recently sacked for leaking state secrets.

Great example, kids.

The demented, detested US President hailing a British Prime Minister a mini-me version of himself, and no one disagreeing.

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And Johnson declaring outside No10 that anyone questioning his lack of a plan to extricate Britain from the biggest peacetime mess in living memory is an ­unpatriotic “gloomster” who runs the nation down.

Because any viewpoint that differs from the one endorsed by a leader whose election was rubber-stamped by a small right-wing clique on a non-compromising, nationalist agenda, means you stand against the will of the people and are an enemy of the state.

And the last time we heard that in Europe was from Adolf Hitler in the 1930s.

Maybe we’ve just stumbled on an even scarier app than the face one – one which takes us back to the future.





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