There’s a special kind of tiredness you only feel after you’ve had a good cry.
You know the one. It’s 3am. A night out. An argument.
You’re drained, grumpy, you’re on a night bus home and you’re so sleepy your chest aches. You’d do anything to shut your eyes and forget it all happened.
The House of Commons seems to have been in this state for about a month.
It’s on the wrong bus, it’s lost its keys, and it can’t remember how to get home. Oh, and also, the bus is going backwards.
(Image: RMV/REX)
People say the Commons can’t agree on anything, but last night it agreed it’s in a mood foul enough to curdle milk.
As four indicative votes rolled in – and none of them indicated anything – Theresa May could not raise even the faintest hint of a smile.
Her rivals were thwarted, but her own plan looked no closer to victory.
Two seats along, her Chief Whip, Julian Smith, crossed his arms and frowned.
Perhaps it dawned on him that he’s stuck in the bus for even longer, unable to get off.
(Image: REUTERS)
Nick Boles had had enough. “I’ve failed,” the MP croaked, just holding back tears.
He quit the Conservative Party and walked out, just like that.
An MP said lamely “oh Nick, don’t go, come on!”. Which is the House of Commons equivalent of “leave it! He’s not worth it!”
Tory Steve Baker went further, fully weeping in a BBC documentary. His comrade Mark Francois, in a matter of minutes, brought up Nick Boles’ cancer and told the Chancellor “up yours!”
(Image: AFP/Getty Images)
So deeply has the Brexit drama sapped the morale of its greatest backers.
In the same show, Julian Smith – that Chief Whip – said what we’re all thinking.
“I’m knackered”, he sighed.
Over in Westminster Hall, MPs debated the most popular petition of all time – to cancel Brexit – then as is customary, made no decision about it.
Some of them tried to, but the hearing was adjourned so they ended up calling into the abyss with the TV sound off.
Back in the main chamber, 12 environment protesters stripped off and smushed their buttocks against the glass. I watched as they paraded around and swung their hips like Elvis.
(Image: James Heappey MP / Twitter)
For the most part, the MPs just carried on. That’s probably wise. Perhaps they were so tired they were seeing things. How could they know for sure what’s real any more?
In the end Brexit’s become so emotionally draining it requires the Speaker to put us all to bed.
John Bercow told MPs: “I suggest is we look at getting a decent night’s rest and recharge our batteries.”
That’s all very well for him to say.
But as we wake up this morning, we’re all still tired, upset and stuck on the backwards bus to nowhere.
Just 10 days to go to Brexit.
