We are living in increasingly strange times. The internet has seen people become walking, talking brands and brands have become anthropomorphised themselves.
It is so ubiquitous, that if you Google the seemingly obvious statement ‘Brands are not your friends,’ reams of articles deftly explaining why you can’t go for a drink with your favourite soft drink company crop up.
As soon as companies realised that ‘savage clapbacks’ and witty internet commentary could help secure column inches (Everyone from Buzzfeed to Fox News have covered the Wendy’s Twitter accounts virtual sparring matches) and free promo via viral one liners, our Twitter feeds have turned into a cacophony of performative put downs, stolen memes and ironic lower case lettering from companies.
When depressive episodes and suicidal ideation became a talking point on Twitter, the company Sunny D tweeted ‘I can’t do this anymore,’ and received nearly 350,000 likes and over 150,000 retweets.
Whilst some users were initially worried that the person managing the account may be in serious danger, it soon became clear it was a cynical marketing ploy. Brands like Pop-Tarts, Uber Eats, Wikipedia and Pornhub all attempted to get in off the free advertising, sending tweets outlining their ‘concern’ for the mental health of a drink.
I can’t do this anymore
— SUNNYD (@sunnydelight) February 4, 2019
‘Brand personality’ has become literal: ‘Skittles wants you to think it’s just another stoner trying to fix your munchies. KFC is some cool guy who also hangs out with the Colonel,’ writer Mic Wright perfectly summarises.
And fast fashion brands want you to think they’re well-meaning, pizza-for-breakfast-after-a-night-out eating, bodycon wearing women aged 18-24. They fake authenticity by attempting to emulate the most intentionally unassuming subcultures out there – ‘Fiat 500 Twitter’ and ‘huns.’
In doing this, they hope that rather than see them for the blood and money-sucking corporations they are, we’ll see them as peers. We’ll imagine them getting wasted in a ‘spoons, getting a spray tan and signing off messages with tons of emoji kisses in their fictional group chat, populated with ‘their girls’ I Saw It First and Missguided.
These brands work closely with influencers and Love Islanders (which are increasingly interchangeable) through various brand partnerships. But they don’t want to embody them, rather, the people likely to buy from them.
This is no more apparent than when Love Island is back on our screens. With an unprecedented ability to snoop on potential consumers via social media, at 9pm it’s not our buying habits e-tailers are eavesdropping into, but who we want to evict from the villa.
Through viral tweets off the back of the show, they now serve adverts in #LoveIsland commentary. Brands have been tweeting from the first person for ages now, but are eerily edging into actual life experiences.
CAN’T. STOP. WATCHING ??#LoveIsland pic.twitter.com/fhScNPsS9N
— Missguided (@Missguided) June 25, 2019
‘So @idriselba curated *the* playlist for my life and I am now 1000% satisfied,’ Netflix’s @StrongBlackLead account tweeted earlier this year, despite the fact it doesn’t have a life.
It has gotten away with similarly strange statements for a long time, when tweeting things like ‘LMAO I am so ready for this!!!’ in reference to its own releases, without so much as a sceptical eyebrow raise from most commentators.
Our fickleness as viewers is because we’re human; these companies are fickle because they’re trying to sell us co-ords.
Pretty Little Thing’s Twitter account went fully sentient, joking ‘This analysis of other couples is just me and my boyfriend 24/7.’ A bemused tweeter replied, ‘Sorry who’s your boyfriend ?? Boohoo Man??.’ It does appear hot-blooded brands do have ‘needs,’ considering how horny Missguided is for Islander Michael Griffiths.
These are more cringe, less actively harmful examples, that are probably largely reliant on our tendency to retweet things without bothering to check who is saying it. But in a lazy attempt to relate, these brands are often be bitchy and at times misogynistic too.
Clothing line In The Style has repeatedly referred to contestant Maura Higgins as desperate whilst Boohoo branded her an attention seeker, and Pretty Little Thing labelled her ‘thirsty.’
Repeat shamer In The Style also made fun of contestant Lucie Donlan’s hair numerous times. Their tack quickly changes too, when the tide of public opinion does: Pretty Little Thing dubbed Maura a bad ass bitch after attempting virality at her expense and In The Style started calling her a ‘queen’ days after insulting her.
In The Style tweeted they were ‘bored’ of the bullying of Lucie they partook in. Our fickleness as viewers is because we’re human; these companies are fickle because they’re trying to sell us co-ords.
With social media, brands are able to express sentiments they would never get away with in actual, regulated adverts. The passing of former Love Islanders with Mike Thalassitis and Sophie Gradon has made viewers take stock of the effects our commentary can have and brands have a responsibility, too. Leaving the villa and seeing companies you’re likely to work with joining social media pile-ons can’t help matters.
Brands actively conspire against us to find ways to part us from our cash, dignity and self-esteem; top tier Twitter banter doesn’t change this. Brands infiltrating online spaces and performing creepy mimicry is the most obvious of Trojan horses, yet we still perceive them as human.
If we must humanise brands, they’d be more like a psychopath in a thriller, learning how to convey human emotion by practicing in a mirror and less the drunk bestie you make in the toilets on a night out.
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