Blind date: ‘She picked up the entire steak with her bare hands’

Emily on Andrea

What were you hoping for?
To meet someone who appreciates me for the gift to humanity that I know I am, and ideally looks like the reincarnation of Boudica.

First impressions?
Like the radiant sun in the form of a human being.

What did you talk about?
We spent most of the night discussing philately and how deeply involved I’d been in that community from a very young age. It was only when our desserts arrived that it became apparent that she’d spent the entire conversation confusing philately with fellatio.

Any awkward moments?
It was a crushing blow when she rebuffed my advances.

Good table manners?
Aside from noticing her picking off my plate as I made my way to the toilets…

Best thing about Andrea?
I was impressed by her liberal outlook and enthusiasm for my more niche passions. It would also be rude not to mention her sexy cackle.

Would you introduce her to your friends?
Should she be so lucky.

Describe Andrea in three words
Fiery, seductive, sensitive.

What do you think she made of you?
Mellow, sensitive and generous (I brought her flowers).

Did you go on somewhere?
I went home. She went to see her ex.

If it weren’t for social distancing, would you have kissed?
I suggested we kiss over dessert but she reminded me of the pandemic.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
I’d change the pandemic and I would have undoubtedly had a delightful kiss.

Marks out of 10?

Would you meet again?
We’re going to Russia in the spring.

READ  Men more likely to say 'I love you' first in relationships, research shows

Want to be in Blind date?


Blind date is Guardian Weekend magazine’s dating column: every week, two
strangers are paired up for dinner and drinks, and then spill the beans
to us, answering a set of questions. This runs, with a photograph we
take of each dater before the date, in Guardian Weekend magazine (in the
UK) and online at every Saturday. It’s been running since 2009 – you can read all about how we put it together here.

What questions will I be asked?
ask about age, location, occupation, hobbies, interests and the type of
person you are looking to meet. If you do not think these questions
cover everything you would like to know, tell us what’s on your mind.

Can I choose who I match with?
it’s a blind date! But we do ask you a bit about your interests,
preferences, etc – the more you tell us, the better the match is likely
to be.

Can I pick the photograph?
No, but don’t worry: we’ll choose the nicest ones.

What personal details will appear?
Your first name, job and age.

How should I answer?
but respectfully. Be mindful of how it will read to your date, and that
Blind date reaches a large audience, in print and online.

Will I see the other person’s answers?
No. We may edit yours and theirs for a range of reasons, including length, and we may ask you for more details.

Will you find me The One?
We’ll try! Marriage! Babies!

Can I do it in my home town?
Only if it’s in the UK. Many of our applicants live in London, but we would love to hear from people living elsewhere.

How to apply

Andrea on Emily

What were you hoping for?
A free meal with someone who tolerates me.

First impressions?
When she waltzed in with a bouquet of orange flowers (£5 from Tesco), I must admit she struck me as being a bit too much.

What did you talk about?
Our shared appreciation for Carole Baskin’s wardrobe. I would love to see Emily in a bit of leopard print.

Any awkward moments?
There was a miscommunication on a certain topic but I don’t feel comfortable disclosing the details.

Good table manners?
Considering she picked up the entire steak with her bare hands, I’d have to say no. But who am I to judge?

Best thing about Emily?
The fact she’s utterly outrageous, yet so self-aware.

Would you introduce her to your friends?
No, I’d like to keep it discreet.

Describe Emily in three words
Vivacious, sultry, precarious.

What do you think she made of you?
She kept forgetting my name and calling me Boudica, which made me think she’s not that interested. But then she said she loved me.

Did you go on somewhere?
We had a wild walk to the station.

If it weren’t for social distancing, would you have kissed?
Well, she still tried to kiss me.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
It would have been nice to get more free alcohol, but you can’t have it all.

Marks out of 10?

Would you meet again?
Only if she dresses in leopard print.

• Emily and Andrea ate at Aster, London SW1. They were photographed separately for this image. Fancy a blind date? Email


Leave a Reply

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you accept our use of cookies.