Fred on Laurine
What were you hoping for?
A genuine human connection, be it romantic or platonic.
First impressions?
She looked like she’d come straight from the set of The French Dispatch.
What did you talk about?
Childhood memories; the best film adaptation of Emma (Clueless); her belief that she’s the reincarnation of Charlotte Brontë; how she once laid a rose on Keats’s grave and shed a tear (sorry, Laurine, it was just too good).
Any awkward moments?
We kept having to repeat ourselves as there was a flock of 30 bankers across the room, whose cacophony vastly exceeded the socially acceptable decibel level. We asked to be reseated.
Good table manners?
She tackled her curry, rice and naan with grace.
Best thing about Laurine?
Her unwavering optimism.
Would you introduce her to your friends?
Yes, especially the thespians and my friend who agrees that Clueless was indeed the best adaptation of Emma.
Describe Laurine in three words
Kind, introspective and hilarious.
What do you think she made of you?
Hopefully an adequate drinking and conversation companion.
Did you go on somewhere?
To the end of the street, whence she headed east and I west.
If it weren’t for physical distancing, would you have kissed?
It didn’t seem like the evening was heading in that direction.
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
That the banker bros be recalled to the office, leaving behind their bottles of Prosecco in our care.
Marks out of 10?
8.
Would you meet again?
Who wouldn’t? She’s a delight.
Laurine on Fred
What were you hoping for?
That the other person wouldn’t be rude, boring or a Covid-denier.
First impressions?
He started talking at me the second I sat down. Happily, he began asking me questions soon afterwards.
What did you talk about?
Arts, our hobbies, views on literature, life and dating. We both have many opinions about the most casual things.
Any awkward moments?
There were two or three lulls, but we had to catch our breath; we talked lots.
Good table manners?
Nothing to complain about.
Best thing about Fred?
He spent the evening discussing arts, opera and feminist literature, only to admit, four drinks in, that his favourite movie is The Devil Wears Prada.
Would you introduce him to your friends?
Yeah, I think they could get along.
Describe Fred in three words
Funny, interesting and open-minded.
What do you think he made of you?
He may think I’m not right in the head. I should’ve stopped before I said I was Charlotte Brontë in a previous life. In fact, I should’ve stopped after two drinks.
Did you go on somewhere?
No, we went our separate ways.
If it weren’t for physical distancing, would you have kissed?
Nah, don’t think either of us wanted to.
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
The group at the table next to us.
Marks out of 10?
9. Not 10 as I had to ask for his number.
Would you meet again?
I don’t think there was a romantic spark, but I would definitely meet again, and perhaps become friends.
Fred and Laurine ate at Bangalore Express, London EC3. Fancy a blind date? Email blind.date@theguardian.com