Peter on Hannah
What were you hoping for?
A clickbait-worthy evening of cringe.
First impressions?
Prompt, eminently comfortable with awkwardness.
What did you talk about?
The woeful state of sex education in schools, working with government agencies, terrible dates and how much food we could get away with ordering – turns out, a lot.
Any awkward moments?
When I knocked a glass of water all over the table within minutes of meeting.
Good table manners?
Impeccable.
Best thing about Hannah?
Her willingness to keep ordering more food and booze. I’m still full.
Would you introduce her to your friends?
Sure, though they’d probably look at each other like first-contact aliens.
Describe Hannah in three words?
Friendly, conversational, thoughtful.
What do you think she made of you?
Probably an awkward parody of myself on a mission to generate sweet, sweet content.
Did you go on somewhere?
Smithfield meat market for a wander. Yes, after the vegan restaurant.
And… did you kiss?
We both ran away before that could happen.
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
That my suggestion of finding an abandoned building to explore was taken up.
Marks out of 10?
7.
Would you meet again?
I’d be up for another casual wander around an ironic meat market.
Hannah on Peter
What were you hoping for?
Someone hot, good conversation. I didn’t want someone poncey.
First impressions?
Super cool. I felt I was in for a good night with someone interesting.
What did you talk about?
Standard London millennial stuff: museums, books, films.
Any awkward moments?
He responded well to my rant about how we don’t learn about vaginas.
Good table manners?
Impeccable.
Best thing about Peter?
He was really cool. He made me feel a bit inadequate.
Would you introduce him to your friends?
Don’t see why not, but not in a romantic way.
Describe Peter in three words?
A creative nerd.
What do you think he made of you?
I hope he thought I was cool and easygoing, but he also might have thought I was a bit square because I didn’t want to break into a building with him.
Did you go on somewhere?
Smithfield market to kiss a pig.
And… did you kiss?
No, I didn’t want to. Then when we were saying ’bye, he started edging away.
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
I would have been more daring, but I am not very good on a school night.
Marks out of 10?
8.
Would you meet again?
Probably not. Everyone on here says they would as friends – but that’s boring.
• Peter and Hannah ate at the Gate, London EC1, thegaterestaurants.com
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