Billie Eilish has spoken about her mental health, saying that she considered taking her own life while alone in a Berlin hotel.
The 18-year-old is up for six Grammys this weekend, after her debut album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go, rocketed her to worldwide fame and success.
However, as her star was on the rise, Billie was living with clinical depression, and says that she was ‘so unhappy’ throughout 2018.
Speaking to CBS’s Gayle King, the Bad Guy singer said: ‘I was so unhappy last year [the interview was recorded in 2019]. I was so unhappy, and I was so, like, joyless.
‘I mean, there were so many reasons. It all was because I was actually clinically depressed, but on top of it was this fame that I didn’t want at the time.’
And she told the host: ‘I genuinely didn’t think I would make it to 17.’
King noted the lyric in her song Bury A Friend, ‘I wanna end me’, and asked whether she had these thoughts in real life.
Billie said: ‘Yeah. I think about this one time I was in Berlin and I was alone in my hotel, and I remember there was a window right there. I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was going to die was, I was going to do it.’
She added that her mother was the reason she didn’t go through with it.
Billie said that she had been coming out of her depression over the past six months, crediting therapy and support from her family for her recovery, and is now able to help fans in similar positions.
The singer – who will perform the theme tune to the new James Bond movie, No Time To Die – said: ‘I just grab them by the shoulders and I’m like, “Please take care of yourself and be good to yourself and be nice to yourself. Don’t take that extra step and hurt yourself further, and you can’t take it back.”.’
This weekend, Billie is expected to win big at the Grammys, after she landed six nominations.
The talented teen is nominated for best new artist, with her song Bad Guy up for record of the year, song of the year and record of the year and her album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go up for album of the year and best pop vocal album.
The first time nominee is also among the performers on the night.
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