Worried your relationship has lost its spark?
What could bring the excitement back better than a scored quiz?
Well, other than a high-stakes game of Scrabble.
A 10-question test created by Gary W. Lewandowski Jr, a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey, helps to check if your relationship is in a rut or full of glee.
It’s not a new quiz, to be clear, first popping up in the New York Times in 2010, but it’s making the rounds on the internet again this month. Also, it’ll be new to the majority of us who haven’t read a lot of psychology books on understanding relationships.
The idea is that the questions reveal whether your relationship expands your mind, encourages life experiences, and makes you feel good – the thinking being that if it does these things, the relationship is built to last.
If your relationship makes you feel bored and restricted, it might not be going well.
It’s simple to do – just get a calculator so you can keep track of your maths.
You simply answer each question, giving it a score between one (meaning not very much) and seven (very much).
Don’t try to cheat the system, as that obviously defeats the point.
Ten questions to ask about your relationship:
- How much does being with your partner result in your having new experiences?
- When you are with your partner, do you feel a greater awareness of things because of him or her?
- How much does your partner increase your ability to accomplish new things?
- How much does your partner help to expand your sense of the kind of person you are?
- How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?
- How much do your partner’s strengths as a person (skills, abilities, etc.) compensate for some of your own weaknesses as a person?
- How much do you feel that you have a larger perspective on things because of your partner?
- How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things?
- How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?
- How much does your partner increase your knowledge
Have you added up your score? Here’s what it means.
A score of 45 or under
You and your partner have a ‘low connection’ and your relationship isn’t expanding your worldview or making you feel better at yourself.
This obviously isn’t a great thing, but it doesn’t mean your relationship is set up for failure.
Instead, take this score as a wakeup call about the importance of sharing new experiences and trying new things with a partner.
Yes, that does mean abandoning the sofa and Love Island for a bit.
Score of 45 to 60
Not bad, basically.
Your relationship has brought in some improvements to your life and perhaps used to be super exciting – but is now in a slight lull.
Take things up a notch with new experiences, whether that’s testing something new sex-wise, learning a new skill, or going on date nights.
Score of 60 or more
You’re bossing it. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while and you’re still getting this sort of high score, you should give yourself a pat on the back.
Your relationship is clearly fulfilling your needs and making your life significantly better. Well done.
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